Books Should Be Free Loyal Books Free Public Domain Audiobooks & eBook Downloads |
|
Are You a Bromide? The Sulphitic Theory Expounded and Exemplified According to the Most Recent Researches into the Psychology of Boredom Including Many Well-Known Bromidioms Now in Use By: Gelett Burgess (1866-1951) |
---|
![]()
OR, THE SULPHITIC THEORY EXPOUNDED AND EXEMPLIFIED ACCORDING TO THE MOST RECENT RESEARCHES INTO
THE PSYCHOLOGY OF BOREDOM Including many well known Bromidioms now in use BY GELETT BURGESS, S.B. Author of "Goops and How to Be Them," "The Burgess Nonsense Book,"
"Vivette," &c., &c. WITH DECORATIONS BY THE AUTHOR
Note:
Decorations replaced with five asterisks
1906
NOTE This essay is reprinted, with revisions and enlargement additions,
from "The Sulphitic Theory" published in "The Smart Set" for April,
1906, by consent of the editors. TO GERTRUDE McCALL CHATELAINE OF MAC MANOR [Illustration] AND DISCOVERER OF THE SULPHITIC THEORY
ARE YOU A BROMIDE? The terms "Bromide" and "Sulphite" as applied to psychological rather
than chemical analysis have already become, among the illuminati , so
widely adopted that these denominations now stand in considerable danger
of being weakened in significance through a too careless use. The
adjective "bromidic" is at present adopted as a general vehicle, a
common carrier for the thoughtless damnation of the Philistine. The time
has come to formulate, authoritatively, the precise scope of intellect
which such distinctions suggest and to define the shorthand of
conversation which their use has made practicable. The rapid spread of
the theory, traveling from Sulphite to Sulphite, like the spark of a
pyrotechnic set piece, till the thinking world has been over violently
illuminated, has obscured its genesis and diverted attention from the
simplicity and force of its fundamental principles.[1] In this, its
progress has been like that of slang, which, gaining in popularity, must
inevitably decrease in aptness and definiteness. [Footnote 1: It was in April that I first heard of the Theory from the
Chatelaine. The following August, in Venice, a lady said to me: "Aren't
these old palaces a great deal more sulphitic in their decay than they
were originally, during the Renaissance?"] In attempting to solve the problem which for so long was the despair of
philosophers I have made modest use of the word "theory." But to the
Sulphite, this simple, convincing, comprehensive explanation is more;
it is an opinion, even a belief, if not a credo . It is the
crux by which society is tested. But as I shall proceed
scientifically, my conclusion will, I trust, effect rational proof of
what was an a priori hypothesis. The history of the origin of the theory is brief. The Chatelaine of a
certain sugar plantation in Louisiana, in preparing a list of guests
for her house party, discovered, in one of those explosive moments of
inspiration, that all people were easily divided into two fundamental
groups or families, the Sulphites and the Bromides. The revelation was
apodictic, convincing; it made life a different thing; it made society
almost plausible. So, too, it simplified human relationship and gave
the first hint of a method by which to adjust and equalize affinities.
The primary theorems sprang quickly into her mind, and, such is their
power, they have attained almost the nature of axioms. The discovery,
indeed, was greater, more far reaching than she knew, for, having
undergone the test of philosophical analysis as well as of practical
application, it stands, now, a vital, convincing interpretation of the
mysteries of human nature. We have all tried our hands at categories. Philosophy is, itself, but a
system of definitions. What, then, made the Chatelaine's theory
remarkable, when Civilization has wearied itself with distinctions? The
attempt to classify one's acquaintance is the common sport of the
thinker, from the fastidious who says: "There are two kinds of
persons those who like olives and those who don't," to the fatuous,
immemorial lover who says: "There are two kinds of women Daisy, and
the Other Kind!"
Previous attempts, less fantastic, have had this fault in common: their
categories were susceptible of gradation extremes fused one into the
other... Continue reading book >>
|
eBook Downloads | |
---|---|
ePUB eBook • iBooks for iPhone and iPad • Nook • Sony Reader |
Kindle eBook • Mobi file format for Kindle |
Read eBook • Load eBook in browser |
Text File eBook • Computers • Windows • Mac |
Review this book |
---|