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The Clock that Had no Hands And Nineteen Other Essays About Advertising   By: (1878-1947)

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[ Transcriber's Note: Every effort has been made to replicate this text as faithfully as possible, including inconsistencies in spelling and hyphenation; changes (corrections of spelling) made to the original text are listed at the end of this file. ]

The Clock that Had no Hands

And Nineteen Other Essays About Advertising

By Herbert Kaufman

New York George H. Doran Company






The Clock that Had no Hands 1

The Cannon that Modernized Japan 7

The Tailor who Paid too Much 13

The Man who Retreats before His Defeat 19

The Dollar that Can't be Spent 25

The Pass of Thermopylae 31

The Perambulating Showcase 37

How Alexander Untied the Knot 43

If It Fits You, Wear this Cap 49

You Must Irrigate Your Neighborhood 55

Cato's Follow up System 61

How to Write Retail Advertising Copy 67

The Difference between Amusing and Convincing 75

Some Don'ts when You Do Advertise 79

The Doctor whose Patients Hang On 85

The Horse that Drew the Load 91

The Cellar Hole and the Sewer Hole 97

The Neighborhood of Your Advertising 103

The Mistake of the Big Steak 109

The Omelette Soufflé 113

The Clock that Had no Hands

Newspaper advertising is to business, what hands are to a clock. It is a direct and certain means of letting the public know what you are doing . In these days of intense and vigilant commercial contest, a dealer who does not advertise is like a clock that has no hands . He has no way of recording his movements. He can no more expect a twentieth century success with nineteenth century methods, than he can wear the same sized shoes as a man , which fitted him in his boyhood .

His father and mother were content with neighborhood shops and bobtail cars; nothing better could be had in their day. They were accustomed to seek the merchant instead of being sought by him. They dealt "around the corner" in one story shops which depended upon the immediate friends of the dealer for support. So long as the city was made up of such neighborhood units, each with a full outfit of butchers, bakers, clothiers, jewelers, furniture dealers and shoemakers, it was possible for the proprietors of these little establishments to exist and make a profit.

But as population increased, transit facilities spread, sections became specialized, block after block was entirely devoted to stores, and mile after mile became solely occupied by homes.

The purchaser and the storekeeper grew farther and farther apart . It was necessary for the merchant to find a substitute for his direct personality, which no longer served to draw customers to his door. He had to have a bond between the commercial center and the home center. Rapid transit eliminated distance but advertising was necessary to inform people where he was located and what he had to sell . It was a natural outgrowth of changed conditions the beginning of a new era in trade which no longer relied upon personal acquaintance for success... Continue reading book >>

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