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Fiscal Ballads   By: (1874-1936)

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FISCAL BALLADS

FISCAL BALLADS

BY

HARRY GRAHAM

('COL. D. STREAMER')

AUTHOR OF "BALLADS OF THE BOER WAR," "RUTHLESS RHYMES FOR HEARTLESS HOMES," "PERVERTED PROVERBS," "MISREPRESENTATIVE MEN," ETC., ETC.

LONDON EDWARD ARNOLD 41 & 43 MADDOX STREET, BOND STREET, W.

1905

[ All rights reserved ]

TO P. L.

Beneath your roof I chanced to write These Ballads of the Fiscal Fight, A somewhat scant selection; So do not deem me indiscreet If I should 'dump' them at your feet, And ask for your Protection! Whate'er you be, or Fair or Free, Be still, as ever, fair to me!

NOTE

Many of these 'Fiscal Ballads' have appeared in the columns of the Westminster Gazette , and are here republished by permission.

CONTENTS

PAGE

FOREWORD 1

PROTECTION 4

RETALIATION 8

THE COLONIES 12

PREFERENTIAL TREATMENT 17

BRITISH TRADE 22

CONTROVERSIAL ENTERTAINMENT 28

'STATISTICS' 33

'CONTROVERSIAL METHODS' 39

A MESSAGE FROM BROADMOOR 42

THE TURNING TIDE 45

ENVOI 49

FISCAL BALLADS

FOREWORD

I'm only a common workin' man, With a eye to my vittles an' beer, But afore I puts my money on Joe, There's a thing or two as I'd like to know, Which 'e 'asn't a made quite clear.

I admit as it sounds attractive like For to shut them furriners out, But every Board School nipper knows As there's things wot only a furriner grows As we couldn't well do without.

There's sugar, an' rice, an' cocoa nibs, There's cawfy an' tea as well, As we never could raise, suppose we tried, And we 'as to buy 'em somewheres outside, And the furriners 'as to sell.

But they don't give nothin' for nothink Which you can't dispute the fac' An' we're sending 'em hevery bit as much Of our cotton goods, an' our coal, an' such, As 'll pay the beggars back.

An' the less we buys o' them furrin goods, The less of our own's returned; Which it's plain to see as the more they take, The more our firms 'as a chance to make, An' the 'igher the wages earned.

For it's British Labour as pays the price O' them goods as crosses the sea, An' suppose as the furrin imports fail, It's the case of a empty dinner pail For the workin' man like me.

Let the furriner send 'is foodstuffs in Lor' bless you, I ain't afraid! For the more we markets with other lands, The more employment for British 'ands, An' the better for British trade!

I 'asn't no love for the German man, Nor yet for the 'eathen Turk, But I ain't a fool as 'll shut the door In the face of even a blooming Boer, If the beggar can give me work.

For it's work I wants, an' it's wages too, An' I'm lookin' afore I leap; I won't go chucking a job away, On the chance of a possible rise o' pay, While food's to be 'ad so cheap.

I'm only a workin' artisan, But the truth I'd like to know; I ain't for takin' no risks, myself, Of a empty grate an' a empty shelf No, thanks, sir, not for Joe!

'E says as 'e'll 'sweep the Country'! And 'e'll do it too, maybe; If the workin' men don't 'ave a care, They'll find as there ain't no Country there, When 'e's swep' it into the sea!

PROTECTION

I've got the dumpophobia bad, As is easy for to see; (When a little lad I was bit by a mad Manufacturin' man, maybe!) An' I simply goes clean off my chump If anyone 'appens to mention 'dump.'

For it's 'Out wi' they furriner folks!' sez I; Will we take it 'lying down,' When they dumps cheap goods (as we wants to buy) Into every British town? (Tho' per'aps it's a thing as they wouldn't do If we 'adn't a given 'em orders to!)

But there's good times coming, an' thanks to Joe, When the Hempire 'll stand on 'er own; We'll be quit o' the food them furriners grow, An' rely on ourselves alone... Continue reading book >>




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