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The Gold Bat By: P. G. Wodehouse (1881-1975) |
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by P. G. Wodehouse 1904 [Dedication]
To
THAT PRINCE OF SLACKERS,
HERBERT WESTBROOK CONTENTS
Chapter I THE FIFTEENTH PLACE II THE GOLD BAT III THE MAYOR'S STATUE IV THE LEAGUE'S WARNING V MILL RECEIVES VISITORS VI TREVOR REMAINS FIRM VII "WITH THE COMPLIMENTS OF THE LEAGUE" VIII O'HARA ON THE TRACK IX MAINLY ABOUT FERRETS X BEING A CHAPTER OF ACCIDENTS XI THE HOUSE MATCHES XII NEWS OF THE GOLD BAT XIII VICTIM NUMBER THREE XIV THE WHITE FIGURE XV A SPRAIN AND A VACANT PLACE XVI THE RIPTON MATCH XVII THE WATCHERS IN THE VAULT XVIII O'HARA EXCELS HIMSELF XIX THE MAYOR'S VISIT XX THE FINDING OF THE BAT XXI THE LEAGUE REVEALED XXII A DRESS REHEARSAL XXIII WHAT RENFORD SAW XXIV CONCLUSION
I THE FIFTEENTH PLACE
"Outside!" "Don't be an idiot, man. I bagged it first." "My dear chap, I've been waiting here a month." "When you fellows have quite finished rotting about in front of
that bath don't let me detain you." "Anybody seen that sponge?" "Well, look here" this in a tone of compromise "let's toss for it." "All right. Odd man out." All of which, being interpreted, meant that the first match of the
Easter term had just come to an end, and that those of the team who,
being day boys, changed over at the pavilion, instead of performing the
operation at leisure and in comfort, as did the members of houses, were
discussing the vital question who was to have first bath? The Field Sports Committee at Wrykyn that is, at the school which
stood some half mile outside that town and took its name from it were
not lavish in their expenditure as regarded the changing accommodation
in the pavilion. Letters appeared in every second number of the
Wrykinian , some short, others long, some from members of the
school, others from Old Boys, all protesting against the condition of
the first, second, and third fifteen dressing rooms. "Indignant" would
inquire acidly, in half a page of small type, if the editor happened to
be aware that there was no hair brush in the second room, and only half
a comb. "Disgusted O. W." would remark that when he came down with the
Wandering Zephyrs to play against the third fifteen, the water supply
had suddenly and mysteriously failed, and the W.Z.'s had been obliged
to go home as they were, in a state of primeval grime, and he thought
that this was "a very bad thing in a school of over six hundred boys",
though what the number of boys had to do with the fact that there was
no water he omitted to explain. The editor would express his regret in
brackets, and things would go on as before. There was only one bath in the first fifteen room, and there were on
the present occasion six claimants to it. And each claimant was of the
fixed opinion that, whatever happened subsequently, he was going to
have it first. Finally, on the suggestion of Otway, who had reduced
tossing to a fine art, a mystic game of Tommy Dodd was played. Otway
having triumphantly obtained first innings, the conversation reverted
to the subject of the match. The Easter term always opened with a scratch game against a mixed team
of masters and old boys, and the school usually won without any great
exertion. On this occasion the match had been rather more even than the
average, and the team had only just pulled the thing off by a couple of
tries to a goal. Otway expressed an opinion that the school had played
badly. "Why on earth don't you forwards let the ball out occasionally?" he
asked. Otway was one of the first fifteen halves. "They were so jolly heavy in the scrum," said Maurice, one of the
forwards. "And when we did let it out, the outsides nearly always
mucked it." "Well, it wasn't the halves' fault. We always got it out to the
centres." "It wasn't the centres," put in Robinson. "They played awfully well.
Trevor was ripping." "Trevor always is," said Otway; "I should think he's about the best
captain we've had here for a long time... Continue reading book >>
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Humor |
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Teen/Young adult |
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