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A Hand-book of Etiquette for Ladies   By:

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Transcriber’s Note

Obvious typographical errors have been corrected. A list of corrections is found at the end of the text.

TRUE POLITENESS.

A HAND BOOK OF ETIQUETTE FOR LADIES.

BY AN AMERICAN LADY.

New York: LEAVITT AND ALLEN.

Entered according to the Act of Congress, in the year 1847, by

GEORGE S. APPLETON.

In the Office of the Clerk of the District Court of the United States in and for the Eastern District of Pennsylvania.

CONTENTS.

Introductions 5 Recognitions and Salutations 11 Dress and Fashion 14 Conversation Tattling 19 Visits and Visiting 26 Receiving Visits 32 Ball Room Parties Dancing 36 Music 43 The Dinner Table 45 Courtship and Marriage 53 Servants 55 Letters and Notes 57 Funerals 59 Cards 60 Presents 61 General Observations 63

TRUE POLITENESS FOR LADIES.

INTRODUCTIONS.

I.

Never introduce persons to each other without a knowledge that it will be agreeable to both parties; this may sometimes be ascertained without a formal question: very great intimacy with and knowledge of each party may be a sufficient assurance that the introduction will be agreeable.

II.

The inferior should always be introduced to the superior ladies take precedence of gentlemen; you will present the gentleman to the lady, not the lady to the gentleman.

III.

An introduction at a ball for the purpose of dancing does not compel you to recognise the person in the street or in any public place; and except under very peculiar circumstances such intimacies had better cease with the ball.

IV.

When introducing one to another, mention the name of each distinctly. A failure to do this is often the cause of much embarrassment. If you have been introduced, and have not caught the name, it is better to say at once, “I beg pardon; I did not hear the name;” it will save much unpleasant feeling.

V.

As a general rule, avoid all proffers of introduction, unless from those in whom, from relationship or other causes, you can place implicit confidence. A lady cannot shake off an improper acquaintance with the same facility as a gentleman can do, and her character is more easily affected by contact with the worthless and dissipated.

VI.

Upon a first introduction to a lady or gentleman, make a slight but gracious inclination of the head and body. The old style of curtsying has given place to the more easy and graceful custom of bowing. It is ill bred to shake hands.

VII.

If you meet a lady for the second or subsequent times, the hand may be extended in addition to the inclination of the head; but never extend the hand to a gentleman, unless you are very intimate.

VIII.

Bow with slow and measured dignity; never hastily.

IX.

If you wish to avoid the company of a gentleman who has been properly introduced, treat him with respect, at the same time shunning his company. But few will mistake you.

X.

If, in travelling, any one introduces himself to you in a proper and respectful manner, conduct yourself toward him with reserve and dignity, yet with ease and politeness; and thank him for any attentions he may render you. If he is a gentleman he will appreciate your behavior; if he is not, he will be deterred from annoying you... Continue reading book >>




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