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I and My Chimney By: Herman Melville (1819-1891) |
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By Herman Melville I and my chimney, two grey headed old smokers, reside in the country.
We are, I may say, old settlers here; particularly my old chimney, which
settles more and more every day. Though I always say, I AND MY CHIMNEY, as Cardinal Wolsey used to say,
"I AND MY KING," yet this egotistic way of speaking, wherein I
take precedence of my chimney, is hereby borne out by the facts; in
everything, except the above phrase, my chimney taking precedence of me. Within thirty feet of the turf sided road, my chimney a huge, corpulent
old Harry VIII of a chimney rises full in front of me and all my
possessions. Standing well up a hillside, my chimney, like Lord Rosse's
monster telescope, swung vertical to hit the meridian moon, is the first
object to greet the approaching traveler's eye, nor is it the last
which the sun salutes. My chimney, too, is before me in receiving the
first fruits of the seasons. The snow is on its head ere on my hat; and
every spring, as in a hollow beech tree, the first swallows build their
nests in it. But it is within doors that the pre eminence of my chimney is most
manifest. When in the rear room, set apart for that object, I stand
to receive my guests (who, by the way call more, I suspect, to see
my chimney than me) I then stand, not so much before, as, strictly
speaking, behind my chimney, which is, indeed, the true host. Not that I
demur. In the presence of my betters, I hope I know my place. From this habitual precedence of my chimney over me, some even think
that I have got into a sad rearward way altogether; in short, from
standing behind my old fashioned chimney so much, I have got to be quite
behind the age too, as well as running behindhand in everything else.
But to tell the truth, I never was a very forward old fellow, nor what
my farming neighbors call a forehanded one. Indeed, those rumors about
my behindhandedness are so far correct, that I have an odd sauntering
way with me sometimes of going about with my hands behind my back. As
for my belonging to the rear guard in general, certain it is, I bring up
the rear of my chimney which, by the way, is this moment before me and
that, too, both in fancy and fact. In brief, my chimney is my superior;
my superior, too, in that humbly bowing over with shovel and tongs, I
much minister to it; yet never does it minister, or incline over to me;
but, if anything, in its settlings, rather leans the other way. My chimney is grand seignior here the one great domineering object, not
more of the landscape, than of the house; all the rest of which house,
in each architectural arrangement, as may shortly appear, is, in the
most marked manner, accommodated, not to my wants, but to my chimney's,
which, among other things, has the centre of the house to himself,
leaving but the odd holes and corners to me. But I and my chimney must explain; and as we are both rather obese, we
may have to expatiate. In those houses which are strictly double houses that is, where the
hall is in the middle the fireplaces usually are on opposite sides;
so that while one member of the household is warming himself at a fire
built into a recess of the north wall, say another member, the former's
own brother, perhaps, may be holding his feet to the blaze before a
hearth in the south wall the two thus fairly sitting back to back. Is
this well? Be it put to any man who has a proper fraternal feeling.
Has it not a sort of sulky appearance? But very probably this style
of chimney building originated with some architect afflicted with a
quarrelsome family. Then again, almost every modern fireplace has its separate flue separate
throughout, from hearth to chimney top. At least such an arrangement
is deemed desirable. Does not this look egotistical, selfish? But still
more, all these separate flues, instead of having independent masonry
establishments of their own, or instead of being grouped together in one
federal stock in the middle of the house instead of this, I say, each
flue is surreptitiously honey combed into the walls; so that these last
are here and there, or indeed almost anywhere, treacherously hollow,
and, in consequence, more or less weak... Continue reading book >>
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