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The Lighter Side of School Life   By: (1876-1952)

The Lighter Side of School Life by Ian Hay

First Page:

LIGHTER SIDE OF SCHOOL LIFE

[Illustration: LORD'S]

THE LIGHTER SIDE OF SCHOOL LIFE

BY IAN HAY

AUTHOR OF "A SAFETY MATCH"

WITH ILLUSTRATIONS REPRODUCED FROM PASTEL DRAWINGS BY LEWIS BAUMER

BOSTON LE ROY PHILLIPS

First Edition published October nineteen hundred fourteen; reprinted May nineteen fifteen

Printed in Scotland by BALLANTYNE, HANSON, & CO. At the Ballantyne Press, Edinburgh

TO THE MEMBERS OF THE MOST RESPONSIBLE THE LEAST ADVERTISED THE WORST PAID AND THE MOST RICHLY REWARDED PROFESSION IN THE WORLD

THE LIST OF CONTENTS

I. THE HEADMASTER page 1

II. THE HOUSEMASTER 35

III. SOME FORM MASTERS 57

IV. BOYS 91

V. THE PURSUIT OF KNOWLEDGE 121

VI. SCHOOL STORIES 149

VII. "MY PEOPLE" 175

VIII. THE FATHER OF THE MAN 205

THE LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS

reproduced from drawings by LEWIS BAUMER

LORD'S Frontispiece

THE HEADMASTER OF FICTION page 16

THE SCHOOLBOY OF FICTION 32

THE DAREDEVIL 48

THE LUNCHEON INTERVAL: PORTRAIT OF A GENTLEMAN WHO HAS SCORED FIFTY RUNS 64

THE FRENCH MASTER: (I) FICTION, (II) FACT 88

THE INTELLECTUAL 104

THE NIPPER 120

THE FAG: "SIC VOS NON VOBIS" 152

THE SCHOOLGIRL'S DREAM 176

RANK AND FILE 192

THE MAN OF THE WORLD 208

NOTE

These sketches originally appeared in "Blackwood's Magazine," to the proprietors of which I am indebted for permission to reproduce them in book form.

IAN HAY

THE LIGHTER SIDE OF SCHOOL LIFE

CHAPTER ONE

THE HEADMASTER

First of all there is the Headmaster of Fiction. He is invariably called "The Doctor," and he wears cap and gown even when birching malefactors which he does intermittently throughout the day or attending a cricket match. For all we know he wears them in bed.

He speaks a language peculiar to himself a language which at once enables you to recognise him as a Headmaster; just as you may recognise a stage Irishman from the fact that he says "Begorrah!", or a stage sailor from the fact that he has to take constant precautions with his trousers. Thus, the "Doctor" invariably addresses his cowering pupils as "Boys!" a form of address which in reality only survives nowadays in places where you are invited to "have another with me" and if no audience of boys is available at the moment, he addresses a single boy as if he were a whole audience. To influential parents he is servile and oleaginous, and he treats his staff with fatuous pomposity. Such a being may have existed may exist but we have never met him.

What of the Headmaster of Fact? To condense him into a type is one of the most difficult things in the world, for this reason. Most of us have known only one Headmaster in our lives if we have known more we are not likely to say so, for obvious reasons and it is difficult for Man (as distinct from Woman), to argue from the particular to the general... Continue reading book >>




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