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Margaret Ogilvy By: J. M. Barrie (1860-1937) |
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MARGARET OGILVY
BY HER SON J. M. BARRIE [Picture: Graphic] Second Edition
Completing Twentieth Thousand LONDON
HODDER AND STOUGHTON
27 paternoster row
1897 TO
THE MEMORY OF
MY SISTER
JANE ANN
CHAPTER I—HOW MY MOTHER GOT HER SOFT FACE
On the day I was born we bought six hair bottomed chairs, and in our
little house it was an event, the first great victory in a woman’s long
campaign; how they had been laboured for, the pound note and the thirty
threepenny bits they cost, what anxiety there was about the purchase, the
show they made in possession of the west room, my father’s unnatural
coolness when he brought them in (but his face was white)—I so often
heard the tale afterwards, and shared as boy and man in so many similar
triumphs, that the coming of the chairs seems to be something I remember,
as if I had jumped out of bed on that first day, and run ben to see how
they looked. I am sure my mother’s feet were ettling to be ben long
before they could be trusted, and that the moment after she was left
alone with me she was discovered barefooted in the west room, doctoring a
scar (which she had been the first to detect) on one of the chairs, or
sitting on them regally, or withdrawing and re opening the door suddenly
to take the six by surprise. And then, I think, a shawl was flung over
her (it is strange to me to think it was not I who ran after her with the
shawl), and she was escorted sternly back to bed and reminded that she
had promised not to budge, to which her reply was probably that she had
been gone but an instant, and the implication that therefore she had not
been gone at all. Thus was one little bit of her revealed to me at once:
I wonder if I took note of it. Neighbours came in to see the boy and the
chairs. I wonder if she deceived me when she affected to think that
there were others like us, or whether I saw through her from the first,
she was so easily seen through. When she seemed to agree with them that
it would be impossible to give me a college education, was I so easily
taken in, or did I know already what ambitions burned behind that dear
face? when they spoke of the chairs as the goal quickly reached, was I
such a newcomer that her timid lips must say ‘They are but a beginning’
before I heard the words? And when we were left together, did I laugh at
the great things that were in her mind, or had she to whisper them to me
first, and then did I put my arm round her and tell her that I would
help? Thus it was for such a long time: it is strange to me to feel that
it was not so from the beginning. It is all guess work for six years, and she whom I see in them is the
woman who came suddenly into view when they were at an end. Her timid
lips I have said, but they were not timid then, and when I knew her the
timid lips had come. The soft face—they say the face was not so soft
then. The shawl that was flung over her—we had not begun to hunt her
with a shawl, nor to make our bodies a screen between her and the
draughts, nor to creep into her room a score of times in the night to
stand looking at her as she slept. We did not see her becoming little
then, nor sharply turn our heads when she said wonderingly how small her
arms had grown. In her happiest moments—and never was a happier
woman—her mouth did not of a sudden begin to twitch, and tears to lie on
the mute blue eyes in which I have read all I know and would ever care to
write. For when you looked into my mother’s eyes you knew, as if He had
told you, why God sent her into the world—it was to open the minds of all
who looked to beautiful thoughts... Continue reading book >>
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