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Misrepresentative Men   By: (1874-1936)

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First Page:

Misrepresentative Men

[Illustration: " He might be seen, in any weather, In what is called 'the altogether.' " Page 34 ]

MISREPRESENTATIVE MEN

By HARRY GRAHAM ("COL. D. STREAMER")

Author of "Ruthless Rhymes for Heartless Homes," etc., etc.

ILLUSTRATED BY F. STROTHMANN

NEW YORK FOX, DUFFIELD & COMPANY MCMV

COPYRIGHT, 1904, BY FOX, DUFFIELD & COMPANY Published, September, 1904 PRINTED IN AMERICA

These Verses are Gratefully Dedicated to

[Illustration]

" From quiet home and first beginning, Out to the undiscovered ends, There's nothing worth the wear of winning, But laughter and the love of friends. "

My verses in Your path I lay, And do not deem me indiscreet, If I should say that surely they Could find no haven half so sweet As at Your feet. Unworthy little rhymes are these, Tread tenderly upon them, please!

One single favour do I crave, Which is that You regard my pen As Your devoted humble slave. Most fortunate shall I be then Of mortal men; For what more happiness ensures Than work in service such as Yours?

Should You be pleased, at any time, To dip into this shallow brook Of simple, unpretentious rhyme, Or chance with fav'ring smile to look Upon my book; Don't mention such a fact out loud, Or haply I shall grow too proud!

Accept these verses then, I pray, Disarming press and public too, For what can hostile critics say? What else is left for them to do, Because of You, But view with kindness this collection, Which bears the seal of Your protection?

Contents

PAGE

FOREWORD 11

THEODORE ROOSEVELT 17

BACON 27

ADAM 33

JOAN OF ARC 39

PADEREWSKI 45

WILLIAM TELL 51

DIOGENES 57

SIR THOMAS LIPTON 63

MARAT 69

ANANIAS 75

NERO 77

AFTWORD 83

POSTLUDE 87

List of Illustrations

" He might be seen in any weather In what is called the altogether " FRONTISPIECE

PAGE

" The politician's grip of steel " 18

" At six A.M. he shoots a bear " 22

" When Eve appeared upon the scene " 36

" On concert platforms he perform " 48

" Altho' he raised a rasping voice To persons who his view obstructed " 58

" But Charlotte Corday came along, Intent to right her country's wrong " 70

Foreword

All great biographers possess, Besides a thirst for information, That talent which commands success, I mean of course Imagination; Combining with excessive Tact A total disregard for Fact.

Boswell and Froude, and all the rest, With just sufficient grounds to go on, Could only tell the world, at best, What Great Men did, and thought and so on. But I, of course, can speak to you About the things they didn't do.

I don't rely on breadth of mind, On wit or pow'rs of observation; Carnegie's libraries I find A fruitful source of inspiration; The new Encyclopædia Brit. Has helped me, too, a little bit.

In any case I cannot fail, With such a range of mental vision, So deep a passion for detail, And such meticulous precision. I pity men like Sidney Lee; How jealous they must be of me!

'Tis easy work to be exact, (I have no fear of contradiction), Since it has been allowed that Fact Is stranger far than any Fiction; But what demands the truest wit Is knowing what one should omit.

Carlyle, for instance, finds no place Among my list of lucubrations; Because I have no wish to face The righteous wrath of his relations... Continue reading book >>




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