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More Beasts (For Worse Children)   By: (1870-1953)

Book cover

First Page:

MORE BEASTS FOR WORSE CHILDREN

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MORE BEASTS (For WORSE CHILDREN)

VERSES BY H.B.

PICTURES BY B.T.B.

LONDON: DUCKWORTH AND CO. 3 HENRIETTA STREET, COVENT GARDEN.

DEDICATION.

To Miss ALICE WOLCOTT BRINLEY, Of Philadelphia.

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MORE BEASTS

FOR WORSE CHILDREN

INTRODUCTION

The parents of the learned child (His father and his mother) Were utterly aghast to note The facts he would at random quote On creatures curious, rare and wild; And wondering, asked each other:

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"An idle little child like this, How is it that he knows What years of close analysis Are powerless to disclose?

Our brains are trained, our books are big, And yet we always fail To answer why the Guinea pig Is born without a tail.

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Or why the Wanderoo[A] should rant In wild, unmeaning rhymes, Whereas the Indian Elephant Will only read The Times .

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Perhaps he found a way to slip Unnoticed to the Zoo, And gave the Pachyderm a tip, Or pumped the Wanderoo.

Or even by an artful plan Deceived our watchful eyes, And interviewed the Pelican, Who is extremely wise."

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"Oh! no," said he, in humble tone, With shy but conscious look, "Such facts I never could have known But for this little book."

The Python

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A Python I should not advise, It needs a doctor for its eyes, And has the measles yearly.

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However, if you feel inclined To get one (to improve your mind, And not from fashion merely), Allow no music near its cage; And when it flies into a rage Chastise it, most severely.

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I had an aunt in Yucatan Who bought a Python from a man And kept it for a pet. She died, because she never knew These simple little rules and few;

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The Snake is living yet.

The Welsh Mutton

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The Cambrian Welsh or Mountain Sheep Is of the Ovine race, His conversation is not deep, But then observe his face!

The Porcupine

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What! would you slap the Porcupine? Unhappy child desist! Alas! that any friend of mine Should turn Tupto philist.[B]

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To strike the meanest and the least Of creatures is a sin, How much more bad to beat a beast With prickles on its skin.

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FOOTNOTES:

[A] Sometimes called the "Lion tailed or tufted Baboon of Ceylon."

[B] From [Greek: tupt├┤]=I strike; [Greek: phile├┤]=I love; one that loves to strike. The word is not found in classical Greek, nor does it occur among the writers of the Renaissance nor anywhere else.

The Scorpion

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The Scorpion is as black as soot, He dearly loves to bite; He is a most unpleasant brute To find in bed, at night.

The Crocodile

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Whatever our faults, we can always engage That no fancy or fable shall sully our page, So take note of what follows, I beg. This creature so grand and august in its age, In its youth is hatched out of an egg.

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And oft in some far Coptic town The Missionary sits him down To breakfast by the Nile: The heart beneath his priestly gown Is innocent of guile;

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When suddenly the rigid frown Of Panic is observed to drown His customary smile... Continue reading book >>




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