More Peers : Verses   By: Hilaire Belloc (1870-1953)

Verses by H. BELLOC Pictures by B. T. B.

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LONDON: DUCKWORTH & CO.

Printed in Great Britain at The Mayflower Press, Plymouth . William Brendon & Son, Ltd.

CONTENTS

PAGE

I. Edward, first EARL OF ROEHAMPTON in the County of Surrey, deceased 5

II. Archibald, fifteenth Baron CALVIN of Peebles in North Britain 11

III. Henry de la Tour Albert St. John Chase, commonly known as LORD HENRY CHASE 12

IV. Thomas, second Baron HEYGATE of Bayswater in the County of London 15

V. Percy, first EARL OF EPSOM, in the County of Surrey 16

VI. Arthur Weekes, commonly known as LORD FINCHLEY, Eldest Son and Heir of Charles, first Baron Hendon 22

VII. Ali Baba, first (and last) Baron ALI BABA of Salonika 24

VIII. George Punter, commonly known as LORD HIPPO, Eldest Son and Heir of Peter, sixth Earl of Potamus 27

IX. Baron UNCLE TOM of Maarfontein in the Britains Over Seas 36

X. William, eighth EARL LUCKY, subsequently fifth Duke of Bradford 39

XI. Christopher, sixth Baron CANTON 45

XII. Alcibiades, third Baron ABBOTT of Brackley in Southamptonshire 47

Lord Roehampton

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During a late election Lord Roehampton strained a vocal chord From shouting, very loud and high, To lots and lots of people why The Budget in his own opin Ion should not be allowed to win.

He

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sought a Specialist, who said: "You have a swelling in the head: Your Larynx is a thought relaxed And you are greatly over taxed."

"I am indeed! On every side!" The Earl (for such he was) replied

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In hoarse excitement.... "Oh! My Lord, You jeopardize your vocal chord!" Broke in the worthy Specialist. "Come! Here's the treatment! I insist! To Bed! to Bed! And do not speak A single word till Wednesday week, When I will come and set you free (If you are cured) and take my fee."

On Wednesday week the Doctor hires A Brand new Car with Brand new Tyres And Brand new Chauffeur all complete For visiting South Audley Street.

But what is this? No Union Jack Floats on the Stables at the back! No Toffs escorting Ladies fair Perambulate the Gay Parterre. A 'Scutcheon hanging lozenge wise And draped in crape appals his eyes Upon the mansion's ample door, To which he wades through

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heaps of Straw,[A] And which a Butler

[A] This is the first and only time That I have used this sort of Rhyme.

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drowned in tears, On opening but confirms his fears: "Oh! Sir! Prepare to hear the worst!... Last night my kind old master burst. And what is more, I doubt if he Has left enough to pay your fee. The Budget "

With a dreadful oath, The Specialist,

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denouncing both The Budget and the House of Lords, Buzzed angrily Bayswaterwards.

And ever since, as I am told, Gets it beforehand; and in gold.

Lord Calvin

Lord Calvin thought the Bishops should not sit As Peers of Parliament.

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