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More Peers : Verses By: Hilaire Belloc (1870-1953) |
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Verses by H. BELLOC
Pictures by B. T. B. [Illustration] LONDON: DUCKWORTH & CO.
Printed in Great Britain at
The Mayflower Press, Plymouth . William Brendon & Son, Ltd.
CONTENTS
PAGE I. Edward, first EARL OF ROEHAMPTON in the County of
Surrey, deceased 5 II. Archibald, fifteenth Baron CALVIN of Peebles in North
Britain 11 III. Henry de la Tour Albert St. John Chase, commonly
known as LORD HENRY CHASE 12 IV. Thomas, second Baron HEYGATE of Bayswater in the
County of London 15 V. Percy, first EARL OF EPSOM, in the County of Surrey 16 VI. Arthur Weekes, commonly known as LORD FINCHLEY,
Eldest Son and Heir of Charles, first Baron
Hendon 22 VII. Ali Baba, first (and last) Baron ALI BABA of Salonika 24 VIII. George Punter, commonly known as LORD HIPPO,
Eldest Son and Heir of Peter, sixth Earl of
Potamus 27 IX. Baron UNCLE TOM of Maarfontein in the Britains
Over Seas 36 X. William, eighth EARL LUCKY, subsequently fifth Duke
of Bradford 39 XI. Christopher, sixth Baron CANTON 45 XII. Alcibiades, third Baron ABBOTT of Brackley in Southamptonshire 47
Lord Roehampton
[Illustration] During a late election Lord
Roehampton strained a vocal chord
From shouting, very loud and high,
To lots and lots of people why
The Budget in his own opin
Ion should not be allowed to win. He [Illustration] sought a Specialist, who said:
"You have a swelling in the head:
Your Larynx is a thought relaxed
And you are greatly over taxed." "I am indeed! On every side!"
The Earl (for such he was) replied [Illustration] In hoarse excitement.... "Oh! My Lord,
You jeopardize your vocal chord!"
Broke in the worthy Specialist.
"Come! Here's the treatment! I insist!
To Bed! to Bed! And do not speak
A single word till Wednesday week,
When I will come and set you free
(If you are cured) and take my fee." On Wednesday week the Doctor hires
A Brand new Car with Brand new Tyres
And Brand new Chauffeur all complete
For visiting South Audley Street. But what is this? No Union Jack
Floats on the Stables at the back!
No Toffs escorting Ladies fair
Perambulate the Gay Parterre.
A 'Scutcheon hanging lozenge wise
And draped in crape appals his eyes
Upon the mansion's ample door,
To which he wades through [Illustration] heaps of Straw,[A]
And which a Butler [A] This is the first and only time
That I have used this sort of Rhyme. [Illustration] drowned in tears,
On opening but confirms his fears:
"Oh! Sir! Prepare to hear the worst!...
Last night my kind old master burst.
And what is more, I doubt if he
Has left enough to pay your fee.
The Budget " With a dreadful oath,
The Specialist, [Illustration] denouncing both
The Budget and the House of Lords,
Buzzed angrily Bayswaterwards. And ever since, as I am told,
Gets it beforehand; and in gold.
Lord Calvin
Lord Calvin thought the Bishops should not sit
As Peers of Parliament. [Illustration] And argued it!
In spite of which, for years, and years, and years,
They went on sitting with their fellow peers.
Lord Henry Chase
What happened to Lord Henry Chase?
He got into a [Illustration] Libel Case!
The Daily Howl had said that he
But could not prove it perfectly
To Judge or Jury's satisfaction:
His Lordship, therefore, [Illustration] won the action... Continue reading book >>
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Fiction |
Humor |
Literature |
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