Nuts and Nutcrackers   By: Charles James Lever (1806-1872)

NUTS AND NUTCRACKERS.

"The world's my filbert which with my crackers I will open."

SHAKSPEARE.

"The priest calls the lawyer a cheat, And the lawyer beknaves the divine; And the statesman, because he's so great, Thinks his trade's as honest as mine."

BEGGAR'S OPERA.

"Hard texts are nuts (I will not call them cheaters,) Whose shells do keep their kernels from the eaters; Open the shells, and you shall have the meat: They here are brought for you to crack and eat."

JOHN BUNYAN.

ILLUSTRATED BY "PHIZ."

Second Edition.

LONDON: WM. S. ORR AND CO., PATERNOSTER ROW; WILLIAM CURRY, JUN., AND CO., DUBLIN.

MDCCCXLV.

LONDON: BRADBURY AND EVANS, PRINTERS, WHITEFRIARS.

CONTENTS.

PAGE

AN OPENING NUT vii

A NUT FOR MEN OF GENIUS 1

A NUT FOR CORONERS 15

A NUT FOR "TOURISTS" 19

A NUT FOR LEGAL FUNCTIONARIES 22

A NUT FOR "ENDURING AFFECTION" 31

A NUT FOR THE POLICE AND SIR PETER 37

A NUT FOR THE BUDGET 44

A NUT FOR REPEAL 49

A NUT FOR NATIONAL PRIDE 55

A NUT FOR DIPLOMATISTS 64

A NUT FOR FOREIGN TRAVEL 71

A NUT FOR DOMESTIC HAPPINESS 77

A NUT FOR LADIES BOUNTIFUL 82

A NUT FOR THE PRIESTS 85

A NUT FOR LEARNED SOCIETIES 87

A NUT FOR THE LAWYERS 92

A NUT FOR THE IRISH 99

A NUT FOR VICEREGAL PRIVILEGES 102

RICH AND POOR POUR ET CONTRE 109

A NUT FOR ST. PATRICK'S NIGHT 114

A NUT FOR "GENTLEMAN JOCKS" 119

A NUT FOR YOUNGER SONS 123

A NUT FOR THE PENAL CODE 128

A NUT FOR THE OLD 131

A NUT FOR THE ART UNION 133

A NUT FOR THE KINGSTOWN RAILWAY 137

A NUT FOR THE DOCTORS 141

A NUT FOR THE ARCHITECTS 145

A NUT FOR A NEW COLONY 148

A "SWEET" NUT FOR THE YANKEES 153

A NUT FOR THE SEASON JULLIEN'S QUADRILLES 157

A NUT FOR "ALL IRELAND" 163

A NUT FOR "A NEW COMPANY" 168

A NUT FOR "THE POLITICAL ECONOMISTS" 175

A NUT FOR "GRAND DUKES" 180

A NUT FOR THE EAST INDIA DIRECTORS 183

A FILBERT FOR SIR ROBERT PEEL 185

"THE INCOME TAX" 186

A NUT FOR THE "BELGES" 189

A NUT FOR WORKHOUSE CHAPLAINS 192

A NUT FOR THE "HOUSE" 197

A NUT FOR "LAW REFORM" 200

A NUT FOR "CLIMBING BOYS" 203

A NUT FOR "THE SUBDIVISION OF LABOUR" 206

A NUT FOR A "NEW VERDICT" 212

A NUT FOR THE REAL "LIBERATOR" 216

A NUT FOR "HER MAJESTY'S SERVANTS" 221

A NUT FOR THE LANDLORD AND TENANT COMMISSION 225

A NUT FOR THE HUMANE SOCIETY 228

[Illustration]