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Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 101, September 26, 1891 By: Various |
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VOL. 101 SEPTEMBER 26, 1891 THE WAITERS' STRIKE. ( AT THE NAVAL EXHIBITION. ) [Illustration] The German Waiter waxeth fat; he grows exceeding proud;
He is a shade more kicksome than can fairly be allowed.
The British Press goes out to dine the Teuton, they relate,
Throws down his napkin like a gage, and swears he will not wait. Now there are many proverbs some are good and some are not
But the Teuton was misled who cried, "Strike while the entrée 's hot!"
Like readers with no book marks, all the rebels lost their place,
And vanished out of Chelsea in their dress suits and disgrace. And I'm told that there were murmurings and curses deep and low
In darksome public houses in the road of Pimlico,
And a general impression that it was not safe to cross
The temper of that caterer, Mr. MACKENZIE ROSS. O Waiter, German Waiter! there are many other lands
Where you can take your creaking boots and eke your dirty hands;
And we think you'll have discovered, ere you reach your next address,
That in England German Waiters aren't the Censors of the Press. MARLOWE AT CANTERBURY. "Keep up the Christopher!" a recommendation adapted urbi et orbi
which, quoting Mr. Puff , our HENRY when speaking at Canterbury ought
to have given after the unveiling of KIT MARLOWE's statue. We hope
that the unveiling address will not prove unavailing, and that the
necessary funds may soon be forthcoming for the completion of the
work. For the present all that has been effected by the ceremony is to
have given the Times and Telegraph opportunities for interesting
leading articles at a very dull season when material is scarce; also
it has given the author of Tom Cobb and other remarkable plays a
chance of writing to the Times ; and finally it has broken in upon
the well earned holiday of the indefatigable and good natured HENRY.
But there was one question not put by our HENRY. It ought to have
arisen out of the record of MARLOWE's interment, but didn't. "The
burial register of St. Nicholas, Deptford," said the Times of
September 16, "contains the entry, 'CHRISTOPHER MARLOWE, slain by
FRANCIS ARCHER, June 1, 1593.'" The entry maybe taken as veracious,
although made by "a clerk of St. Nicholas." [MARLOWE was a dramatist;
was ARCHER a dramatic critic?] TWO WORDS IN SEASON. ( HUMBLY DEDICATED TO THOSE EMINENT CONTROVERSIALISTS, LORD GRIMTHORPE
AND MR. TALLACK. ) NO. I. A little more grammar, a touch of the file
To smooth the rough edge of his tongue and his style;
And some friends, who could soften his temper or check it,
Might amend Baron GRIMTHORPE, who once was called BECKETT. NO. II. Some scorn for the faddists who ask us to hug,
Not with ropes but with pity, the pestilent Thug,
And some sense (of which Fate, it would seem, says he shall lack,)
Of the value of logic would much improve TALLACK. ANOTHER STRIKE THREATENED. The advent of the brother of the reigning
King of SIAM threatens to cause embarrassment in some English houses
where HIS HIGHNESS might expect to be received. JEAMES has positively
declined to throw open a door and announce, "Prince DAMRONG!" "Such
langwidge," he says, "is unbecoming and beneath Me leastways unless
it is remembered in the wages." WHY SHOULD MERIT WAIT? We have reason to believe that Sir HENRY EDWARDS, whose stone image
adorns a thoroughfare in Weymouth, will not long be left in sole
possession of the honour of having a monument dedicated to him in his
lifetime. In view of an interesting event pending in his family, it is
proposed that a statue shall be erected to Sir SAMUEL WILSON, M.P.,
in the grounds at Hughenden. The project has so far advanced that the
inscription has been drafted, and we are pleased to be able to quote
it: To Perpetuate the Memory
of
Sir SAMUEL WILSON, Kt... Continue reading book >>
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