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Punch, Or The London Charivari, Volume 102, April 2, 1892   By:

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PUNCH,

OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

VOL. 102.

April 2, 1892.

"'TIS MERRY IN HALL."

[Illustration: "Knock'd 'em!"]

"What's in an 'at without an 'ed?" DISTAFFINA DE COCKAIGNE was wont to inquire, and "what's an 'all" (of Music like the London Pavilion) "without a NED" in the shape of Mr. EDWARD SWANBOROUGH, the all knowing yet ever green Acting Manager at this place of entertainment, who possessing the secret of perpetual youth in all the glory of ever resplendent hat and ever dazzling shirt front, ushers us into the Stalls in time to hear the best part of an excellent all round show. It is sad to think that, probably as we were disputing with the cabman, the celebrated Miss BOOM TE RÉ SA, alias LOTTIE COLLINS, Serio Comic and Dancer, was "booming" and "teraying" before the eyes of a delighted audience. Strange that we should not yet have heard the great original. But as she is not (so to adapt a line from the " Last Rose of Summer ") "left booming alone," we have not escaped hearing several of her male and female imitators who, by her kind permission and that of her publishers, trade on her present exceptional success. However, when we entered the Stalls, Miss BOOM TE RÉ SA had disappeared, and somebody with a song had "intervened" a mode of proceeding not necessarily limited to the Queen's Proctor before the object of our visit walked on to the stage, and when he did come a pretty object he was too, seeing that it was Mr. ALBERT CHEVALIER, the unequalled and inimitable Comedian of the Costermongers. He is a thorough artist in this particular line, and no indifferent one in others; but his Coster ballads are artistically first rate. The fashion of calling English singers by Italian names is on the wane, otherwise Mr. ALBERT CHEVALIER, of French extraction, would find an excellent Italian alias, closely associated with the operatic and musical professions, and most appropriate to the line he has adopted, in the name of "SIGNOR COSTA." The melody of Mr. CHEVALIER's " Coster's Serenade ," of which, I rather think, he is the composer as well as librettist, is as charming as it is strikingly original. After the Chevalier sans peur et sans approche had retired, clever and sprightly Miss JENNY HILL gave as a taste of lodging house keeperism, following whom came the Two MACS belabouring each other in their old hopelessly idiotic, but always utterly irresistible style; and then Lieutenant W. COLE King COLE we "crowned him long ago" gave his ventriloquial entertainment, who, with his troop of talking dolls, should have his address at Dollis Hill. There were many "turns" yet to follow when we left, at a comparatively early hour; "and so," to quote old PEPYS, "home with much content."

"TO HAVE AND TO HOLD."

Big promises and Party scoldings Won't cure "Small Savings" by "Small Holdings."

THE MARVELS OF MODERN SCIENCE.

SCENE Interior of Small Box containing telephone with book of addresses. Enter hurriedly Impatient Subscriber.

Impatient Subscriber ( turning over leaves of address book ). Of course I can't find it! Ah! here it is! 142086. ( Rings bell of telephone, and listens with receivers to his ear. ) Now I have forgotten it! ( Puts back receivers on rests, and refers again to book. Telephone bell rings in answer. He hurries back and calls. ) One hundred and forty two nought eighty six.

First Voice ( from telephone ). One hundred and forty two?

Imp. Sub. Yes, and nought eighty six.

First Voice . Which do you want?

Imp. Sub. Why, both.

First Voice . You can't. Must have one at a time.

Imp. Sub. It's only one. One four two nought eight six.

First Voice . One four two nought eight six?

Imp. Sub. Yes, please. One four two nought eight six.

First Voice . Very well. Why didn't you give the number before?

Imp. Sub. ( angrily ). Well, I have given it now. ( He listens intently, exclaiming now and again , " Are you there ?" and then rings ... Continue reading book >>


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