Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 153, July 11, 1917   By: Various

VOL. 153.

JULY 11, 1917.

CHARIVARIA.

"It is more dangerous to be a baby in London than a soldier in France," said Mrs. H. B. IRVING at the National Baby Week Exhibition. The same disability namely, middle age has prevented us from taking up either of these perilous rôles .

L.C.C. tram tickets, says a news item, are now thinner. Other means of increasing the space available for passengers are also under consideration.

Over one thousand penny dreadfuls were found in the possession of a boy of sixteen who was sentenced to three months' imprisonment for theft. The commonplace nature of the sentence has disgusted the lad.

The report that Mr. CHARLES CHAPLIN had signed a contract to serve in the British Army at 1s. 1d. a day is denied.

As an outcome of Baby Week the Anti Comforter League has been formed. The suggestion that Mr. HOGGE, M.P., would make an admirable first President has not been followed up.

Humanitarians who have been urging the Government not to stain its hands with the more painful forms of reprisal, have received a nasty shock. A German spy has been arrested in London!

The rubber cushions of billiard tables are now being taken by the German military authorities. Meanwhile the enemy Press continues to take its cue from HINDENBURG.

A notorious Petrograd anarchist is reported to be ill, and has been ordered to take a complete rest by his doctor. He has therefore decided not to throw any bombs for awhile at least.

Further evidence of the Eastern talent for adopting Western ideas and improving on them comes from China, where the EX EMPEROR HSUAN TUNG has celebrated Baby Week by issuing a decree announcing his return to the Throne.

"The only plumber, electrician, hot water fitter, gas fitter, bell hanger, zinc worker, blacksmith and locksmith we have left" such was an employer's description of a C1 workman. We understand that the War Office will mobilise him as a special corps as soon as they can think of a sufficiently comprehensive title for him.

Several milkmen have reduced their prices from sixpence to fivepence. Other good results from the timely rains are expected.

A miner, fined one pound for wasting bread, was said to have thrown his dinner a mutton chop, onion sauce, and two slices of bread on the fire because he could not have potatoes. There is a strong feeling that the Censor should prohibit publication of these glaring cases of hardship on the ground that they are likely to encourage the Germans to prolong the War.

Large quantities of food have been carried off by a burglar from several houses in the Heathfield district. Knowing our War bread, we are confident that it did not give in without a struggle.

We are sorry to find The Globe making playful reference to the many postponements of certain music hall revues. Mr. Justice DARLING will agree that these things cannot be postponed too often.

"How can I distinguish poisonous from edible fungi?" asks a correspondent of The Daily Mail . The most satisfactory test is to look for them. If you find them they are likely to be poisonous. If they have been already gathered they were probably edible.

It is now admitted that the conscientious objectors undergoing sentence at Dartmoor are allowed to have week ends occasionally. This concession, it appears, had to be granted as several of them threatened to leave the place.

The pessimists who maintain that this will be a long war are feeling pretty cheap just now. An American scientific journal declares that the world can only last another fifteen million years.

Roughly speaking, says a weekly paper, there is a policeman for every sixteen square miles. This gives them plenty of room to turn round in.