Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 153, September 26, 1917   By: Various

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

VOL. 153.

SEPTEMBER 26, 1917.

CHARIVARIA.

Three bandits have been executed in Mexico without a proper trial or sentence. This, we understand, renders the executions null and void.

The campaign against the cabbage butterfly in this country has reached such an alarming stage that cautious butterflies are now going about in couples.

After spending a one pound Treasury note on cakes, chocolates, fish and chips, biscuits, apples, bananas, damsons, cigarettes, toffee, five bottles of ginger "pop" and a tin of salmon, a Chatham boy told a policeman that he was not feeling well. It was thought to be due to something the boy had been eating.

Incidentally the boy desires us to point out that the trouble was not that he had too much to eat but that there was not quite enough boy to go round.

"I read all English books," says Dr. HARDING in The New York Times , "because they are all equally good." This looks dangerously like a studied slight to Mr. H.G. WELLS.

We understand that, owing to the paper shortage, future exposures of German intrigues will only be announced on alternate days.

At the Kingston Red Cross Exhibition a potato was shown bearing a remarkable likeness to the German CROWN PRINCE. By a curious coincidence a report has recently been received that somewhere in Germany they have a Crown Prince who bears an extraordinary resemblance to a potato.

Mystery still attaches to the authorship of The Book of Artemas , but we have authority for saying that Lord SYDENHAM does not remember having written it.

At Neath Fair, the other day, a soldier just home from the Front entered a lions' den. The lions bore up bravely.

The question of body armour for the troops, it is stated, is still under consideration by the authorities. This is not to be confused with bully ARMOUR which has long been used to line the inside of the troops.

Mr. WALTER HOWARD O'BRIEN, of New York, has sent to Queen Alexandra's Field Force Fund 1,719,000 cigarettes. Several British small boys have decided to write and ask him if he has such a thing as a cigarette picture to spare.

Doctors in many parts of London are said to be raising their fees. They should remember that there is such thing as curing the goose that lays the golden eggs.

The Münchener Neueste Nachrichten accuses the United States of having stolen the cipher key of the LUXBURG despatches. It is this sort of thing that is gradually convincing Germany that it is beneath her dignity to fight with a nation like America.

A fine porpoise has been seen disporting itself in the Thames near Hampton Court. It is just as well to know that such things can be seen almost as well with Government ale as with the stronger brews.

Another statue has been stolen from Berlin, but Londoners need not be envious. Quite a lot of Americans will be in this country shortly, and it is hoped that their well known propensity for souvenir collecting may yet be diverted into useful channels.

The Midland Dairy Farmers' Association have expressed themselves as satisfied with the prices fixed for Winter milk. In other agricultural quarters this action is regarded as a dangerous precedent, the view being that no farmer should be satisfied about anything.

"My hopes of fortune have been dispelled by unremunerative Government contracts," said a contractor at the Liverpool Bankruptcy Court. It is good to read for once of the Government getting the best of a bargain.

"What is a bun?" asked the Willesden magistrate last week; which only shows that with a little practice magistrates will get into the way of doing these things almost as well as the High Court judges.