Roughing it De Luxe   By: Irvin S. Cobb (1876-1944)

[Illustration: BY COMMON CONSENT WE HAD NAMED THEM CLARENCE AND CLARICE]

Roughing It De Luxe By Irvin S. Cobb

Author of "Back Home," "The Escape of Mr. Trimm," "Cobb's Anatomy," "Cobb's Bill of Fare," etc.

Illustrated by John T. McCutcheon

[Illustration]

New York George H. Doran Company

COPYRIGHT, 1913, BY THE CURTIS PUBLISHING COMPANY

COPYRIGHT, 1914, BY GEORGE H. DORAN COMPANY

TO GEORGE H. DORAN, ESQ. MY FRIEND AND STILL MY PUBLISHER; MY PUBLISHER AND STILL MY FRIEND

THE TIME TABLE

PAGE A PILGRIM CANONIZED 15 RABID AND HIS FRIENDS 55 HOW DO YOU LIKE THE CLIMATE? 97 IN THE HAUNT OF THE NATIVE SON 135 LOOKING FOR LO 175

ILLUSTRATIONS

PAGE By common consent we had named them Clarence and Clarice Frontispiece Evidently he believed the conspiracy against him was widespread 21 There was not a turkey trotter in the bunch 35 He'd garner in some fellows that wasn't sheep herders 61 Because a man has a soul is no reason he shouldn't have an appetite 73 He was a regular moving picture cowboy and gave general satisfaction 87 The boy who sells you a paper and the youth who blackens your shoes both show solicitude 101 Out from under a rock somewhere will crawl a real estate agent 115 He felt that he was properly dressed for the time, the place and the occasion 127 Even the place where the turkey trot originated was trotless and quiet 143 The woman nearest the wall has on her furs it is always cool in the shade 155 It's a great thing out there to be a native son 169 Each Navajo squaw weaves on an average nine thousand blankets a year 179 As she leveled the lens a yell went up from somewhere 193 As the occupants spilled sprawlingly through the gap, a front tire exploded with a loud report 207

A PILGRIM CANONIZED

[Illustration]

A Pilgrim Canonized

IT is generally conceded that the Grand Cañon of Arizona beggars description. I shall therefore endeavor to refrain from doing so. I realize that this is going to be a considerable contract. Nearly everybody, on taking a first look at the Grand Cañon, comes right out and admits its wonders are absolutely indescribable and then proceeds to write anywhere from two thousand to fifty thousand words, giving the full details. Speaking personally, I wish to say that I do not know anybody who has yet succeeded in getting away with the job.

In the old days when he was doing the literature for the Barnum show, Tody Hamilton would have made the best nominee I can think of. Remember, don't you, how when Tody started in to write about the elephant quadrille you had to turn over to the next page to find the verb? And almost any one of those young fellows who write advertising folders for the railroads would gladly tackle the assignment; in fact, some of them already have but not with any tumultuous success.

In the presence of the Grand Cañon, language just simply fails you and all the parts of speech go dead lame. When the Creator made it He failed to make a word to cover it. To that extent the thing is incomplete. If ever I run across a person who can put down on paper what the Grand Cañon looks like, that party will be my choice to do the story when the Crack of Doom occurs. I can close my eyes now and see the headlines: Judgment Day a Complete Success! Replete with Incident and Abounding in Surprises Many Wealthy Families Disappointed Full Particulars from our Special Correspondent on the Spot!