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Ruthless Rhymes for Heartless Homes   By: (1874-1936)

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" I was unlucky with my wives, So are the most of married men; Undoubtedly they lost their lives, "]

RUTHLESS RHYMES for Heartless Homes



New York R. H. RUSSELL 1902

Copyright, 1901, by Robert Howard Russell Second impression, December, 1902

Dedicated to P. P.

(" Qui connait son sourire a connu le parfait. ")

I NEED no Comments of the Press, No critic's cursory caress, No paragraphs my book to bless With praise, or ban with curses, So long as You, for whom I write, Whose single notice I invite, Are still sufficiently polite To smile upon my verses.

If You should seek for Ruthless Rhymes (In memory of Western climes), And, for the sake of olden times, Obtain this new edition, You must not be surprised a bit, Nor even deem the act unfit, That I have dedicated it To You, without permission.

P. T. O.[1]

And if You chance to ask me why, It is sufficient, I reply, That You are You, and I am I, To put the matter briefly. That I should dedicate to You Can only interest us two; The fact remains, then, that I do, Because I want to chiefly.

And if these verses can beguile From those grey eyes of yours a smile, You will have made it well worth while To seek your approbation; No further meed Of praise they need, But must succeed, And do indeed, If they but lead You on to read Beyond the Dedication.

1901. H. G.

Author's Preface

WITH guilty, conscience stricken tears I offer up these rhymes of mine To children of maturer years (From Seventeen to Ninety nine). A special solace may they be In days of second infancy.

The frenzied mother who observes This volume in her offspring's hand, And trembles for the darling's nerves, Must please to clearly understand, If baby suffers by and bye The Artist is to blame, not I !

But should the little brat survive, And fatten on the Ruthless Rhyme, To raise a Heartless Home and thrive Through a successful life of crime, The Artist hopes that you will see That I am to be thanked, not he !

P. T. O.[1]

Fond parent, you whose children are Of tender age (from two to eight), Pray keep this little volume far From reach of such, and relegate My verses to an upper shelf, Where you may study them yourself.



[1] Transcriber's Note: P.T.O. means Please Turn Over. This is retained in the text although the instruction is obviously not necessary.

[Illustration: " He had such good cigars. "]

Uncle Joe

AN Angel bore dear Uncle Joe To rest beyond the stars. I miss him, oh! I miss him so, He had such good cigars.


Impetuous Samuel

SAM had spirits naught could check, And to day, at breakfast, he Broke his baby sister's neck, So he shan't have jam for tea!


Inconsiderate Hannah

NAUGHTY little Hannah said She could make her grandma whistle, So, that night, inside her bed Placed some nettles and a thistle... Continue reading book >>

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