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The Tables Turned or, Nupkins Awakened. A Socialist Interlude   By: (1834-1896)

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THE TABLES TURNED; or, Nupkins Awakened

[Title page: title.jpg]


As for the first time played at the Hall of the Socialist League on Saturday October 15, 1887


All Rights Reserved .



Mr. La di da ( found guilty of swindling ) . . . H. BARTLETT.

Mr. Justice Nupkins . . . W. BLUNDELL.

Mr. Hungary, Q.C. ( Counsel for the Prosecution ) . . . W. H. UTLEY.

Sergeant Sticktoit ( Witness for Prosecution ) . . . JAMES ALLMAN.

Constable Potlegoff ( Witness for Prosecution ) . . . H. B. TARLETON.

Constable Strongithoath ( Witness for Prosecution ) . . . J. FLOCKTON.

Mary Pinch ( a labourer's wife, accused of theft ) . . . MAY MORRIS.

Foreman of Jury . . . T. CANTWELL.

Jack Freeman ( a Socialist, accused of conspiracy, sedition, and obstruction of the highway ) . . . H. H. SPARLING.

Archbishop of Canterbury ( Witness for Defence ) . . . W. MORRIS.

Lord Tennyson ( Witness for Defence ) . . . A. BROOKES.

Professor Tyndall ( Witness for Defence ) . . . H. BARTLETT.

William Joyce ( a Socialist Ensign ) . . . H. A. BARKER.

Usher . . . J. LANE.

Clerk of the Court . . . J. TURNER.

Jurymen, Interrupters, Revolutionists, etc., etc.


Citizen Nupkins ( late Justice ) . . . W. BLUNDELL,

Mary Pinch . . . MAY MORRIS.

William Joyce ( late Socialist Ensign ) . . . H. A. BARKER.

Jack Freeman . . . H. H. SPARLING.

1st Neighbour . . . H. B. TARLETON.

2nd Neighbour . . . J. LANE.

3rd Neighbour . . . H. GRAHAM.

Robert Pinch, and other Neighbours, Men and Women.


SCENE. A Court of Justice .

USHER, CLERK OF THE COURT, MR. HUNGARY, Q.C., and others . MR. LA DI DA, the prisoner, not in the dock, but seated in a chair before it . [ Enter MR. JUSTICE NUPKINS.

Usher . Silence! silence!

Mr. Justice Nupkins . Prisoner at the bar, you have been found guilty by a jury, after a very long and careful consideration of your remarkable and strange case, of a very serious offence; an offence which squeamish moralists are apt to call robbing the widow and orphan; a cant phrase also, with which I hesitate to soil my lips, designates this offence as swindling. You will permit me to remark that the very fact that such nauseous and improper words can be used about the conduct of a gentleman shows how far you have been led astray from the path traced out for the feet of a respectable member of society. Mr. La di da, if you were less self restrained, less respectful, less refined, less of a gentleman, in short, I might point out to you with more or less severity the disastrous consequences of your conduct; but I cannot doubt, from the manner in which you have borne yourself during the whole of this trial, that you are fully impressed with the seriousness of the occasion. I shall say no more then, but perform the painful duty which devolves on me of passing sentence on you. I am compelled in doing so to award you a term of imprisonment; but I shall take care that you shall not be degraded by contamination with thieves and rioters, and other coarse persons, or share the diet and treatment which is no punishment to persons used to hard living: that would be to inflict a punishment on you not intended by the law, and would cast a stain on your character not easily wiped away. I wish you to return to that society of which you have up to this untoward event formed an ornament without any such stain. You will, therefore, be imprisoned as a first class misdemeanant for the space of one calendar month; and I trust that during the retirement thus enforced upon you, which to a person of your resources should not be very irksome, you will reflect on the rashness, the incaution, the impropriety, in one word, of your conduct, and that you will never be discovered again appropriating to your personal use money which has been entrusted to your care by your friends and relatives... Continue reading book >>

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