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Verse and Worse   By: (1874-1936)

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VERSE AND WORSE

VERSE AND WORSE

VERSE AND WORSE

BY

HARRY GRAHAM ('COL. D. STREAMER')

AUTHOR OF 'BALLADS OF THE BOER WAR,' 'RUTHLESS RHYMES FOR HEARTLESS HOMES,' 'MISREPRESENTATIVE MEN,' 'FISCAL BALLADS,' ETC., ETC.

LONDON EDWARD ARNOLD 41 & 43 MADDOX STREET, BOND STREET, W.

1905

[ All rights reserved ]

NOTE

THE BABY'S BAEDEKER and PERVERTED PROVERBS have been published in America by Mr. R. H. Russell and Messrs. Harper Bros. of New York.

'The Ballad of Ping pong,' 'Bill,' and 'The Place where the Old Cleek Broke,' have appeared in The Century Magazine , The Outlook , and Golf respectively.

'Uncle Joe,' 'Aunt Eliza,' 'John,' 'The Cat,' and 'Bluebeard,' were included in Mr. Russell's American edition of Ruthless Rhymes for Heartless Homes .

CONTENTS

PAGE

AUTHOR'S PREFACE ix

FOREWORD xi

PART I

THE BABY'S BAEDEKER

I. ABROAD 3

II. UNITED STATES OF AMERICA 6

III. GREAT BRITAIN 9

IV. SCOTLAND 11

V. IRELAND 13

VI. WALES 15

VII. CHINA 16

VIII. FRANCE 19

IX. GERMANY 21

X. HOLLAND 23

XI. ICELAND 26

XII. ITALY 27

XIII. JAPAN 30

XIV. PORTUGAL 32

XV. RUSSIA 33

XVI. SPAIN 36

XVII. SWITZERLAND 39

XVIII. TURKEY 41

XIX. DREAMLAND 44

XX. STAGELAND 47

XXI. LOVERLAND 48

XXII. HOMELAND 53

PART II

CHILDISH COMPLAINTS AND OTHER RUTHLESS RHYMES

CHILDISH COMPLAINTS

PRELUDE 57

APPENDICITIS 61

WHOOPING COUGH 61

MEASLES 62

ADENOIDS 62

CROUP 62

RUTHLESS RHYMES

I. MOTHER WIT 63

II. UNCLE JOE 64

III. AUNT ELIZA 65

IV. ABSENT MINDEDNESS 66

V. JOHN 68

VI. BABY 71

VII. THE CAT 72

PART III

PERVERTED PROVERBS

I. 'VIRTUE IS ITS OWN REWARD' 77

II. 'ENOUGH IS AS GOOD AS A FEAST' 86

III. 'DON'T BUY A PIG IN A POKE' 89

IV. 'LEARN TO TAKE THINGS EASILY' 91

V. 'A ROLLING STONE GATHERS NO MOSS' 92

VI. 'IT IS NEVER TOO LATE TO MEND' 96

VII. 'A BAD WORKMAN COMPLAINS OF HIS TOOLS' 99

VIII... Continue reading book >>




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