Why They Married   By: James Montgomery Flagg (1877-1960)

TEXT AND ILLUSTRATIONS BY JAMES MONTGOMERY FLAGG

NEW YORK LIFE PUBLISHING COMPANY 1906

Copyright 1906 LIFE PUBLISHING COMPANY BRITISH COPYRIGHT SECURED ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

DEDICATED TO SEVERAL OBLIGING MARRIED COUPLES WHO HAVE POSED FOR SOME OF THESE PORTRAITS

Don't be ashamed to let us know Why you tried matrimony, For others brave the under tow For reasons quite as funny; We give these little facts away, Perhaps it is a treason, Don't marry in an off hand way, Be sure "there's a reason!"

THE AUTHOR

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STUNG!

He was a gentle and sensitive chap, He married the forceful Miss Howe, He wanted her sympathy, did the poor yap He has everyone's sympathy now!

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SHE KEPT HER WORD.

Maud hung onto straps in the Subway and "L," No man ever said "Take my seat!" She swore that she'd marry the first one who did The next day her husband did meet!

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SKIDDOO!

When your wife jams her hat on and packs up her bag And says "I shall go back to mother!" If you sniff she will say, "Just for that I will stay!" One excuse is as good as another.

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SHE LOOKED SO DOCILE!

John Quincy tho' kindly and gentle, declared: "The man must be master, by gum!" But his outlook on life, is just what his dear wife Lets him peer at from under her thumb!

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NOT A QUITTER.

Wilhemina's bridegroom failed to show up at the church So she yanked the driver off the wedding hack, And married him in lieu of John, who'd left her in the lurch For she would NOT send the wedding presents back.

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EVER KNOW IT TO FAIL?

"I never could marry that kind of a man!" Said Miss Sue of a fellow named Sid So of course the gods heard her and laughed when they saw, 'Twas exactly the kind that she did!

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HOW WAS SHE TO KNOW?

The reason sweet Alice got married to day Sweet Alice, so prettily blushing, She hadn't the faintest idea that the gent Had another wife over in Flushing.

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A TONIC.

Miss Luella Gloaming was naturally glum, So she married young Grouch, the recluse; For she says when she's sad, she just looks at his face Then she can't help but laugh like the deuce!

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WHY THEY MARRIED.

This couple before you are husband and wife, He looks sorry and just a bit harried; It took a mere two spot to scare him for life, At least that's the reason he married!

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EXPLAINED AT LAST.

Mr. Pinhead was worth eighty millions, Miss Nothingbutt had eighty two; Why do cash and spondulicks get married? Spondulicks and cash always do!

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AN OPEN AND SHUT GAME.

They heard that people ought to wed Their opposites in life; He finds an opposition where He thought he'd found a wife!

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REALLY SHE DID.

You never can guess why she married this man, There's no use the matter to mince, She married him merely because he had hair Like her lost Pomeranian, "Prince."

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AND THERE YOU ARE!

The reason Walter Applepie Did wed his Nancy fair, She liked the way his mouth curled up He liked her fuzzy hair!

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