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Worrying Won't Win   By: (1877-1934)

Book cover

First Page:

[Illustration: See p. 173

"And the only kick they've got, Mawruss," Abe said, "is that President Wilson won't expose his hand, which, if he did, he might just so well throw the game to Germany and be done with it."]

WORRYING WON'T WIN

BY

MONTAGUE GLASS

ILLUSTRATED

HARPER & BROTHERS PUBLISHERS NEW YORK AND LONDON

WORRYING WON'T WIN

Copyright, 1918, by Harper & Brothers

Printed in the United States of America

Published May, 1918

CONTENTS

CHAP. PAGE

I. POTASH AND PERLMUTTER DISCUSS THE CZAR BUSINESS 1

II. POTASH AND PERLMUTTER ON SOAP BOXERS AND PEACE FELLERS 10

III. POTASH AND PERLMUTTER ON FINANCING THE WAR 20

IV. POTASH AND PERLMUTTER ON BERNSTORFF'S EXPENSE ACCOUNT 30

V. POTASH AND PERLMUTTER DISCUSS ON THE FRONT PAGE AND OFF 40

VI. POTASH AND PERLMUTTER ON HOOVERIZING THE OVERHEAD 49

VII. POTASH AND PERLMUTTER ON FOREIGN AFFAIRS 58

VIII. POTASH AND PERLMUTTER ON LORDNORTHCLIFFING VERSUS COLONELHOUSING 68

IX. POTASH AND PERLMUTTER ON NATIONAL MUSIC AND NATIONAL CURRENCY 77

X. POTASH AND PERLMUTTER ON REVOLUTIONIZING THE REVOLUTION BUSINESS 86

XI. POTASH AND PERLMUTTER DISCUSS THE SUGAR QUESTION 96

XII. POTASH AND PERLMUTTER DISCUSS HOW TO PUT THE SPURT IN THE EXPERT 106

XIII. POTASH AND PERLMUTTER ON BEING AN OPTICIAN AND LOOKING ON THE BRIGHT SIDE 115

XIV. THE LIQUOR QUESTION SHALL IT BE DRY OR EXTRA DRY? 124

XV. POTASH AND PERLMUTTER ON PEACE WITH VICTORY AND WITHOUT BROKERS, EITHER 133

XVI. POTASH AND PERLMUTTER ON KEEPING IT DARK 142

XVII. POTASH AND PERLMUTTER ON THE PEACE PROGRAM, INCLUDING THE ADDED EXTRA FEATURE AND THE SUPPER TURN 151

XVIII. POTASH AND PERLMUTTER ON THE NEW NATIONAL HOLIDAYS 160

XIX. MR. WILSON: THAT'S ALL 169

XX. POTASH AND PERLMUTTER DISCUSS THE GRAND OPERA BUSINESS 177

XXI. POTASH AND PERLMUTTER DISCUSS THE MAGAZINE IN WAR TIMES 186

XXII. POTASH AND PERLMUTTER ON SAVING DAYLIGHT, COAL, AND BREATH 195

XXIII. POTASH AND PERLMUTTER DISCUSS WHY IS A PLAY GOER? 204

XXIV. POTASH AND PERLMUTTER DISCUSS SOCIETY NEW YORK, HUMAN, AND AMERICAN 213

XXV. POTASH AND PERLMUTTER DISCUSS THIS HERE INCOME TAX 222

ILLUSTRATIONS

"And the only kick they've got, Mawruss," Abe said, "is that President Wilson won't expose his hand, which, if he did, he might just so well throw the game to Germany and be done with it." Frontispiece

"I bet yer over half a czar's morning mail already is circulars from casket concerns alone, Abe." Facing p... Continue reading book >>




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