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Holes, Incorporated By: L. Major Reynolds |
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Would you like to see all hell break loose? Just make a few holes
in nothing at all push some steel beams through the holes and then
head for the hills. But first, read what happened to some people who
really did it.
HOLES
INCORPORATED By L. Major Reynolds
The red headed secretary asked, "Names, please?" "Ted Baker." "Bill Stephens." "To see H. Joshua Blair. We have an appointment." "It's for three thirty. We called up two weeks ago." The secretary said, "Oh, yes. I have you on the list." She checked them
off, studied them vaguely, asked, "What was it you wanted to see Mr.
Blair about?" Ted Baker held out the small steel box he was carrying. "About this." "Ah what is it?" "It's a box." "I can see that," the redhead snapped. "What is it for? What does it
do?" "It's for construction work. It makes holes." The girl sighed. It was late in the day and she didn't care much,
really. She snapped an intercom button. An inquiring voice rasped at
her. She said, "A Mr. Baker and a Mr. Stephens to see you." Evidently it was all right because she snapped off the button and
pointed to a door. "In there." They went in the door and faced a desk large enough to play tennis on.
The man behind the desk gave them a cordial snarl. "Well, what have you
got on your mind? And don't take all day to tell me." Ted extended the box. "This. We'd like to sell it to you." "What is it? A bomb?" "No, sir. It makes holes. It makes holes real quick." Blair scowled at the box. "What the hell do I want of holes?" Bill Stephens came forward with further explanation. "You see, sir, Ted
and I are inventors. We make, well things. We've been working on this
invention in our basement and it seems to be a success." "We don't quite know why it's a success," Ted said, "but it is." "We'd like to demonstrate it for you." "Well, go ahead and demonstrate." Ted raised the box and aimed it horizontally at nothing in particular.
He pressed a black button. There was an odd whirring noise. He took his
hand off the button and lowered the box. "What are you waiting for?" Blair growled. "Nothing. That's it. I've made the hole." "Are you two crazy? What kind of a fool trick ?" Ted reached down and took a pencil off the desk. "May I borrow this?"
Without waiting for permission, he put the pencil carefully into the
place he'd pointed the box. Half the pencil disappeared. He took his
hand away. The part of the pencil still in sight didn't come with it. It
stayed where it was, lying in thin air, horizontally, with no apparent
support. H. Joshua Blair goggled and turned three shades whiter. "Wha wha what
the hell!" "And now, if you'll try to move the pencil, the demonstration will be
complete." Like a man in a trance, Blair got up from his desk and grasped the
pencil. It wouldn't move. He got red in the face and threw all his
weight on it. It would neither pull nor push. It stayed where it was.
Finally Blair backed away from the thing. He leaned on his desk and
panted. "You see," Ted said, "The hole goes into the fourth dimension. There's
no other explanation. And the fourth dimension holds solider than
concrete." Old Blair's head was spinning, but business instinct came quickly to his
rescue. "What happens," he asked, "if something in the third dimension
is in the way?" "It gets out of the way," Bill said. Ted demonstrated. He trained the box on the visible remains of the
pencil. It vanished. Blair said, "Well, I'll be damned!" "We figure this will save you a lot of money in construction work," Bill
said. "You can get along without riveters. You just have a man put holes
in girders with this and push the rivets through. You also make holes
for the beam ends, and your entire building will be anchored in the
fourth dimension." "Do it again," Blair said. Ted made another hole and put another pencil into it... Continue reading book >>
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