How To Behave: A Pocket Manual Of Republican Etiquette   By: Samuel R. (Samuel Roberts) Wells (1820-1875)

HOW TO BEHAVE

A POCKET MANUAL

OF

Republican Etiquette,

AND

GUIDE TO CORRECT PERSONAL HABITS,

EMBRACING

AN EXPOSITION OF THE PRINCIPLES OF GOOD MANNERS; USEFUL HINTS ON THE CARE OF THE PERSON, EATING, DRINKING, EXERCISE, HABITS, DRESS, SELF CULTURE, AND BEHAVIOR AT HOME; THE ETIQUETTE OF SALUTATIONS, INTRODUCTIONS, RECEPTIONS, VISITS, DINNERS, EVENING PARTIES, CONVERSATION, LETTERS, PRESENTS, WEDDINGS, FUNERALS, THE STREET, THE CHURCH, PLACES OF AMUSEMENT, TRAVELING, ETC.,

WITH

Illustrative Anecdotes, a Chapter on Love and Courtship, and Rules of Order for Debating Societies.

[Signature: Samuel R. (Roberts) Wells]

The air and manner which we neglect, as little things, are frequently what the world judges us by, and makes them decide for or against us. La Bruyère. Order my steps in thy word. Bible.

NEW YORK: FOWLER & WELLS CO., PUBLISHERS, 753 BROADWAY. 1887.

ENTERED, ACCORDING TO ACT OF CONGRESS IN THE YEAR 1857 BY

FOWLER AND WELLS

IN THE CLERK'S OFFICE OF THE DISTRICT COURT OF THE UNITED STATES FOR THE SOUTHERN DISTRICT OF NEW YORK

CONTENTS

INTRODUCTION

Politeness Defined The Foundation of Good Manners The Civil Code and the Code of Civility The Instinct of Courtesy Chesterfield's Method The Golden Rule American Politeness Utility of Good Manners Illustrated. Page ix

I. PERSONAL HABITS.

Where to Commence Care of the Person a Social Duty Cleanliness The Daily Bath Soap and Water The Feet Change of Linen The Nails The Head The Teeth The Breath Eating and Drinking What to Eat When to Eat How much to Eat What to Drink Breathing Exercise The Complexion Tobacco Spitting Gin and Gentility Onions, etc. Little Things 15

II. DRESS.

The Meaning of Dress The Uses of Dress Fitness the First Essential The Art of Dress The Short Dress for Ladies Working Dress for Gentlemen Ornaments Materials for Dress Mrs. Manners on Dress The Hair and Beard Art vs. Fashion Signs of the Good Time Coming 31

III. SELF CULTURE.

Moral and Social Training Cultivation of Language Position and Movement The Ease and Grace of Childhood Standing Sitting Walking Hints to the Ladies Self Command Observation Practical Lesson 42

IV. FUNDAMENTAL PRINCIPLES.

Manners and Morals Human Rights Duties The Rights of the Senses The Faculties and their Claims Expression of Opinions The Sacredness of Privacy Conformity Singing out of Tune Doing as the Romans Do Courtesy vs. Etiquette An Anecdote Harmony Equality A Remark to be Remembered General Principles more Important than Particular Observances 48

V. DOMESTIC MANNERS.

A Test of Good Manners Good Behavior at Home American Children Teaching Children to be Polite Behavior to Parents Brothers and Sisters Husband and Wife Married Lovers Entertaining Guests Letting your Guests Alone Making one "at Home" Making Apologies Duties of Guests Treatment of Servants Rights of Servants "Thank You" 56

VI. THE OBSERVANCES OF EVERY DAY LIFE.

Introductions Letters of Introduction Speaking without an Introduction Salutations Receptions Visits and Calls Table Manners Conversations Chesterfield on Conversation Music Letters and Notes Up and Down Stairs Which Goes First? An American Habit Gloved or Ungloved? Equality False Shame Pulling out one's Watch Husband and Wife Bowing vs. Curtseying Presents Snobbery Children 64

VII. ETIQUETTE OF OCCASIONS.

Dinner Parties Invitations Dress Punctuality Going to the Table Arrangement of Guests Duties of the Host Duties of the Guests The "Grace" Eating Soup Fish The Third Course What to do with your Knife and Fork Declining Wine Finger Glasses Carving Evening Parties and their Observances French Leave Sports and Games Promiscuous Kissing Dancing Christmas The New Year Thanksgiving Birthdays Excursions and Picnics Weddings Funerals 83