A Lover's Diary   By: Gilbert Parker (1862-1932)

By Gilbert Parker

CONTENTS

Volume 1. THE VISION ABOVE THE DIN LOVE'S COURAGE LOVE'S LANGUAGE ASPIRATION THE MEETING THE NEST PISGAH LOVE IS ENOUGH AT THE PLAY SO CALM THE WORLD THE WELCOME THE SHRINE THE TORCH IN ARMOUR IN THEE MY ART DENIAL TESTAMENT CAPTIVITY O MYSTIC WINGS WAS IT THY FACE? A WOMAN'S HAND ONE FACE I SEE MOTHER WHEN FIRST I SAW THEE THE FATES LAUGH AS ONE WHO WAITETH THE SEALING THE PLEDGE LOVE'S TRIBUTARIES THE CHOICE RECOGNITION THE WAY OF DREAMS THE ACCOLADE FALLEN IDOLS TENNYSON THE ANOINTED

Volume 2. DREAMS THE BRIDE THE WRAITH SURRENDER THE CITADEL MALFEASANCE ANNUNCIATION VANISHED DREAMS INTO THY LAND DIVIDED WE MUST LIVE ON YET LIFE IS SWEET LOST FOOTSTEPS THE CLOSED DOOR THE CHALICE MIO DESTINO I HAVE BEHELD TOO SOON AWAY THE TREASURE DAHIN LOVE'S USURY THE DECREE 'TIS MORNING NOW SACRIFICE SHINE ON SO, THOU ART GONE THE THOUSAND THINGS ONES THE SEA THE CHART REVEALING OVERCOMING WHITHER NOW ARARAT AS LIGHT LEAPS UP THE DARKENED WAY REUNITED SONG WAS GONE FROM ME GOOD WAS THE FIGHT UNCHANGED ABSOLVO TE BENEDICTUS THE MESSAGE UNAVAILING YOU SHALL LIVE ON "VEX NOT THIS GHOST" THE MEMORY THE PASSING ENVOY

INTRODUCTION

'A Lover's Diary' has not the same modest history as 'Embers'. As far back as 1894 it was given to the public without any apology or excuse, but I have been apologising for it ever since, in one way without avail. I wished that at least one fifth of it had not been published; but my apology was never heard till now as I withdraw from this edition of A Lover's Diary some twenty five sonnets representing fully one fifth of the original edition. As it now stands the faint thread of narrative is more distinct, and redundancy of sentiment and words is modified to some extent at any rate. Such material story as there is, apart from the spiritual history embodied in the sonnets, seems more visible now, and the reader has a clearer revelation of a young, aspiring, candid mind shadowed by stern conventions of thought, dogma, and formula, but breaking loose from the environment which smothered it. The price it pays for the revelation is a hopeless love informed by temptation, but lifted away from ruinous elements by self renunciation, to end with the inevitable parting, poignant and permanent, a task of the soul finished and the toll of the journey of understanding paid.

The six sonnets in italics, beginning with 'The Bride', and ending with 'Annunciation', have nothing to do with the story further than to show two phases of the youth's mind before it was shaken by speculation, plunged into the sadness of doubt and apprehension, and before it had found the love which was to reveal it to itself, transform the character, and give new impulse and direction to personal force and individual sense. These were written when I was twenty and twenty one years of age, and the sonnet sequence of 'A Lover's Diary' was begun when I was twenty three. They were continued over seven years in varying quantity. Sometimes two or three were written in a week, and then no more would be written for several weeks or maybe months, and it is clearly to be seen from the text, from the change in style, and above all in the nature of the thought that between 'The Darkened Way', which ends one epoch, and 'Reunited', which begins another and the last epoch, were intervening years.