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The Memoirs of Mr. Charles J. Yellowplush By: William Makepeace Thackeray (1811-1863) |
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By William Makepeace Thackeray CONTENTS
MISS SHUM'S HUSBAND THE AMOURS OF MR. DEUCEACE FORING PARTS MR. DEUCEACE AT PARIS: CHAP. I. The Two Bundles of Hay II. "Honor thy Father" III. Minewvring IV. "Hitting the Nale on the Hedd" V. The Griffin's Claws VI. The Jewel VII. The Consquinsies VIII. The End of Mr. Deuceace's History. Limbo IX. The Marriage X. The Honey moon MR. YELLOWPLUSH'S AJEW SKIMMINGS FROM "THE DAIRY OF GEORGE IV." EPISTLES TO THE LITERATI MEMOIRS OF MR. CHARLES J. YELLOWPLUSH
MISS SHUM'S HUSBAND. CHAPTER I.
I was born in the year one, of the present or Christian hera, and am, in
consquints, seven and thirty years old. My mamma called me Charles James
Harrington Fitzroy Yellowplush, in compliment to several noble families,
and to a sellybrated coachmin whom she knew, who wore a yellow livry,
and drove the Lord Mayor of London. Why she gev me this genlmn's name is a diffiklty, or rayther the name of
a part of his dress; however, it's stuck to me through life, in which I
was, as it were, a footman by buth. Praps he was my father though on this subjict I can't speak suttinly,
for my ma wrapped up my buth in a mistry. I may be illygitmit, I may
have been changed at nuss; but I've always had genlmnly tastes through
life, and have no doubt that I come of a genlmnly origum. The less I say about my parint the better, for the dear old creatur was
very good to me, and, I fear, had very little other goodness in her.
Why, I can't say; but I always passed as her nevyou. We led a strange
life; sometimes ma was dressed in sattn and rooge, and sometimes in rags
and dutt; sometimes I got kisses, and sometimes kix; sometimes gin,
and sometimes shampang; law bless us! how she used to swear at me, and
cuddle me; there we were, quarrelling and making up, sober and tipsy,
starving and guttling by turns, just as ma got money or spent it.
But let me draw a vail over the seen, and speak of her no more its
'sfishant for the public to know, that her name was Miss Montmorency,
and we lived in the New Cut. My poor mother died one morning, Hev'n bless her! and I was left alone
in this wide wicked wuld, without so much money as would buy me a penny
roal for my brexfast. But there was some amongst our naybors (and let me
tell you there's more kindness among them poor disrepettable creaturs,
than in half a dozen lords or barrynets) who took pity upon poor Sal's
orfin (for they bust out laffin when I called her Miss Montmorency), and
gev me bred and shelter. I'm afraid, in spite of their kindness, that
my MORRILS wouldn't have improved if I'd stayed long among 'em. But a
benny violent genlmn saw me, and put me to school. The academy which I
went to was called the Free School of Saint Bartholomew's the Less the
young genlmn wore green baize coats, yellow leather whatsisnames, a tin
plate on the left arm, and a cap about the size of a muffing. I stayed
there sicks years; from sicks, that is to say, till my twelth year,
during three years of witch I distinguished myself not a little in the
musicle way, for I bloo the bellus of the church horgin, and very fine
tunes we played too. Well, it's not worth recounting my jewvenile follies (what trix we
used to play the applewoman! and how we put snuff in the old clark's
Prayer book my eye!); but one day, a genlmn entered the school room it
was on the very day when I went to subtraxion and asked the master for
a young lad for a servant. They pitched upon me glad enough; and nex
day found me sleeping in the sculry, close under the sink, at Mr. Bago's
country house at Pentonwille. Bago kep a shop in Smithfield market, and drov a taring good trade in
the hoil and Italian way. I've heard him say, that he cleared no less
than fifty pounds every year by letting his front room at hanging time... Continue reading book >>
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