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Mr. Scraggs By: Henry Wallace Phillips (1869-1930) |
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INTRODUCED BY RED SAUNDERS By HENRY WALLACE PHILLIPS
Author of "Red Saunders," "Plain Mary Smith," etc.
THE GRAFTON PRESS PUBLISHERS NEW YORK
Copyright, 1903, 1904, 1905, by The Curtis Publishing Co.
Copyright, 1903, by S. S. McClure Co. Copyright, 1905, by The
Grafton Press Published January, 1906 Second edition February, 1906
CONTENTS I. BY PROXY
II. IN THE TOILS
III. ST. NICHOLAS SCRAGGS
IV. THE SIEGE OF THE DRUG STORE
V. THE MOURNFUL NUMBER
VI. MR. SCRAGGS INTERVENES
VII. THE FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH
LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS "Made any other human countenance I ever see look like a
nigger minstrel show" "He was disappointed in love he had to be" "Scraggsy looked like a forlorn hope lost in a fog" "'Dearly beloved Brethren,' says I" "Put up a high grade article of cat fight" "You will talk to my ol' man like that, will you?" "So we rode in, right cheerful" "I was all over that Injun"
MR. SCRAGGS INTRODUCED BY RED SAUNDERS BY PROXY I had met Mr. Scraggs, shaken him by the hand, and, in the shallow
sense of the word, knew him. But a man is more than clothes and a
bald head. It is also something of a trick to find out more about
him particularly in the cow country. One needs an interpreter.
Red furnished the translation. After that, I nurtured Mr.
Scraggs's friendship, for the benefit of humanity and philosophy.
Saunders and I lay under a bit of Bad Lands, soaking in the spring
sun, and enjoying the first cigarette since breakfast. In regard
to things in general, he said: "Now, there was the time I worked for the Ellis ranch. A ranch is
like a man: it has something that belongs to it, that don't belong
to no other ranch, same as I have just the same number of eyes and
noses and so forth that you drew on your ticket, yet you ain't me
no more'n I'm you. This was a kind of sober minded concern; it was
a thoughtful sort of a ranch, where everybody went about his work
quiet. I guess it was because the boys was mostly old timers,
given to arguing about why was this and how come that. Argue!
Caesar! It was a regular debating society. Wind river Smith
picked up a book in the old man's room that told about the Injuns
bein' Jews 'way back before the big high water, and how one gang of
'em took to the prairie and the other gang to the bad clothes
business. Well, he and Chawley Tawmson 'member Chawley and his
tooth? And you'd have time to tail down and burn a steer before
Chawley got the next word out well, they got arguin' about whether
this was so, or whether it weren't so. Smithy was for the book,
havin' read it, and Chawley scorned it. The argument lasted a
month, and as neither one of 'em knew anything about an Injun,
except what you can gather from looking at him over a rifle sight,
and as the only Jew either one of 'em ever said two words to was
the one that sold Windriver a hat that melted in the first
rain storm, and then him and Chawley went to town and made the
Hebrew eat what was left of the hat, after refunding the price, you
can imagine what a contribution to history I listened to. That's
the kind of place the Ellis ranch was, and a nice old farm she was,
too. "I'd been working there about three months, when along come a man
that looked like old man Trouble's only son. Of all the sorrowful
faces you ever see, his was the longest and thinnest. It made any
other human countenance I ever see look like a nigger minstrel show. [Illustration: Made any other human countenance I ever see look
like a nigger minstrel show.] "We was short handed, as the old man had begun to put up hay and
work some of the stock in corrals for the winter, so we took our
new brother on. His name was Ezekiel George Washington
Scraggs tuneful number for a cow outfit! and his name didn't come
anywhere near doin' him justice at that. Ezekiel knew his biz and
turned in a day's work right straight along, but when you'd say,
'Nice day, Scraggs?' he'd heave such a sigh you could feel the
draft all the way acrost the bull pen, and only shake his head... Continue reading book >>
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Humor |
Literature |
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