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The Nest Egg Captains All, Book 3. By: W. W. Jacobs (1863-1943) |
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By W.W. Jacobs THE NEST EGG [Illustration: "The Nest Egg."] "Artfulness," said the night watch man, smoking placidly, "is a gift; but
it don't pay always. I've met some artful ones in my time plenty of
'em; but I can't truthfully say as 'ow any of them was the better for
meeting me." He rose slowly from the packing case on which he had been sitting and,
stamping down the point of a rusty nail with his heel, resumed his seat,
remarking that he had endured it for some time under the impression that
it was only a splinter. "I've surprised more than one in my time," he continued, slowly. "When I
met one of these 'ere artful ones I used fust of all to pretend to be
more stupid than wot I really am." He stopped and stared fixedly. "More stupid than I looked," he said. He stopped again. "More stupid than wot they thought I looked," he said, speaking with
marked deliberation. And I'd let 'em go on and on until I thought I had
'ad about enough, and then turn round on 'em. Nobody ever got the better
o' me except my wife, and that was only before we was married. Two
nights arterwards she found a fish hook in my trouser pocket, and arter
that I could ha' left untold gold there if I'd ha' had it. It spoilt
wot some people call the honey moon, but it paid in the long run. One o' the worst things a man can do is to take up artfulness all of a
sudden. I never knew it to answer yet, and I can tell you of a case
that'll prove my words true. It's some years ago now, and the chap it 'appened to was a young man, a
shipmate o' mine, named Charlie Tagg. Very steady young chap he was, too
steady for most of 'em. That's 'ow it was me and 'im got to be such
pals. He'd been saving up for years to get married, and all the advice we could
give 'im didn't 'ave any effect. He saved up nearly every penny of 'is
money and gave it to his gal to keep for 'im, and the time I'm speaking
of she'd got seventy two pounds of 'is and seventeen and six of 'er own
to set up house keeping with. Then a thing happened that I've known to 'appen to sailormen afore. At
Sydney 'e got silly on another gal, and started walking out with her, and
afore he knew wot he was about he'd promised to marry 'er too. Sydney and London being a long way from each other was in 'is favour, but
the thing that troubled 'im was 'ow to get that seventy two pounds out of
Emma Cook, 'is London gal, so as he could marry the other with it. It
worried 'im all the way home, and by the time we got into the London
river 'is head was all in a maze with it. Emma Cook 'ad got it all saved
up in the bank, to take a little shop with when they got spliced, and 'ow
to get it he could not think. He went straight off to Poplar, where she lived, as soon as the ship was
berthed. He walked all the way so as to 'ave more time for thinking, but
wot with bumping into two old gentlemen with bad tempers, and being
nearly run over by a cabman with a white 'orse and red whiskers, he got
to the house without 'aving thought of anything. They was just finishing their tea as 'e got there, and they all seemed so
pleased to see 'im that it made it worse than ever for 'im. Mrs. Cook,
who 'ad pretty near finished, gave 'im her own cup to drink out of, and
said that she 'ad dreamt of 'im the night afore last, and old Cook said
that he 'ad got so good looking 'e shouldn't 'ave known him. "I should 'ave passed 'im in the street," he ses. "I never see such an
alteration." "They'll be a nice looking couple," ses his wife, looking at a young
chap, named George Smith, that 'ad been sitting next to Emma. Charlie Tagg filled 'is mouth with bread and butter, and wondered 'ow he
was to begin. He squeezed Emma's 'and just for the sake of keeping up
appearances, and all the time 'e was thinking of the other gal waiting
for 'im thousands o' miles away. "You've come 'ome just in the nick o' time," ses old Cook; "if you'd done
it o' purpose you couldn't 'ave arranged it better." "Somebody's birthday?" ses Charlie, trying to smile... Continue reading book >>
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Genres for this book |
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Fiction |
Humor |
Literature |
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