The Rubaiyat of a Huffy Husband   By: Mary Wallace Bundy Little (1857-)

MARY B. LITTLE

[Illustration: ARTI et VERITATI]

BOSTON RICHARD G. BADGER =The Gorham Press= 1908

Copyright, 1908, by Mary B. Little

All Rights Reserved

The Gorham Press, Boston, U. S. A.

THE RUBAIYAT OF A HUFFY HUSBAND

I

I wake, the Sun does scatter into Flight The Dreams of Happiness I have each Night, O blessèd Dreams full of Domestic Bliss, Too soon alas! They're banished with the Light.

II

I'm going to tell in just the Briefest way The cause of all my Anguish if I may Then one and all will know the Reason why My Mien is Solemn, and I am not Gay.

III

On Christmas day a good Friend did present My Wife a Book; no doubt with best intent. The "Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam" 'twas. Little I dreamed the Woe of its Advent.

IV

After the rush of Holidays was o'er, And things had settled back in Place once more, Wife found the Time to revel in that Book, And told me how she loved its Ancient Lore.

V

She soon possessed the dreadful Omar Fad, Which other Husbands, I have learned, think Bad. But unlike other Fads which now are Past, This has the power to make me very Mad.

VI

The others which she tired of years before, Collecting Vases, Fans, and Spoons galore, Did not affect the Comfort of our Home, Therefore there was no reason to be Sore.

VII

But now each time I come back to the House I find what was my former loving Spouse So deep absorbed in Omar's Rubaiyat, She reads right on, and scarcely does Arouse.

VIII

Or else I find her with her Pen in Hand, Grinding out Quatrains which mayhap are Grand, She tries to make me Listen: Rest assured That I obey Not any such Command.

IX

Had I but known just what my Fate would be, Inside a Drawer to which I hold the Key, That Book forever would have Disappeared And thereby would have gained some Peace for Me.

X

But ah, the Irony of Fate that's how "A Book of verses underneath the Bough" Is what I hear from Morn to Dewy Eve. A Wilderness were Paradise just Now.

XI

Sometimes when I am very tired, and Plead To be amused, My Wife says, "I will read." And this is what she tries to make me Hear, "With Earth's first Clay they did the Last man knead."

XII

But don't imagine while Possessed of Wit, That I assent, and therefore Calmly sit. I take my hat, and hasten from the House, And come not back till think she's through with It.

XIII

I might have Prayed, and possibly thereby Have gained relief from Somewhere in the Sky. But Wife says, Omar's reckoning proves it "As Impotently moves as You or I."

XIV

At least that is the Doctrine he presents, Although to Me it is Devoid of Sense. My unbelief in what he says does Make My Wife's Love for him only more Intense.

XV