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Punch, Or The London Charivari, Volume 102, March 12, 1892   By:

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VOL. 102.

March 12, 1892.




The Usual Elderly Lady ( who judges every picture solely by its subject ). "No. 9. Portrait of Mrs. BRYANSTON of Portman. By GAINSBOROUGH." I don't like that at all. Such a disagreeable expression! I can't think why they exhibit such things. I'm sure there's no pleasure in looking at them!

Her Companion ( who finds no pleasure in looking at any of them ). No, I must say I prefer the Academy to these old fashioned things. I suppose we can get a cup of tea here, though?

An Intelligent Person . "Mrs. BRYANSTON of Portman." Sounds like a made up name rather, eh? Portman Square, and all that, y'know!

[Illustration: "My dear fellow, as if it was possible to mistake his touch!"]

His Friend ( with a touching confidence in the seriousness of the authorities ). Oh, they wouldn't do that sort of thing here !

A Too impulsive Enthusiast . Oh, JOHN, look at that lovely tiger up there! Isn't the skin marvellously painted, and the eyes so natural and all! It's a Landseer of course !

John . Catalogue says STUBBS.

The Enth. ( disenchanted ). STUBBS? I never heard of him. But it's really rather well done.

The Man who is a bit of a Connoisseur in his way ( arriving at a portrait of Mrs. BILLINGTON ). Not a bad Romney, that.

His Friend ( with Catalogue ). What makes you think it's a Romney?

The Conn. My dear fellow, as if it was possible to mistake his touch. ( Thinks from his friend's expression, that he had better hedge. ) Unless it's a Reynolds. Of course it might be a Sir Joshua, their manner at one period was very much alike yes, it might be a Reynolds, certainly.

His Friend . It might be a Holbein if it didn't happen to be a Gainsborough.

The Conn. ( effecting a masterly retreat ). Didn't I say Gainsborough? Of course that was what I meant . Nothing like Reynolds nor Romney either. Totally different thing!


Mr. Ernest Stodgely ( before JAN STEEN's "Christening" ). Now look at this, FLOSSIE; very curious, very interesting. Gives you such an insight into the times. This man, you see, is wearing a hat of the period. Remarkable, isn't it?

Miss Featherhead . Not so remarkable as if he was wearing a hat of some other period, ERNEST, is it?

The Elderly Lady ( before a View of Amsterdam, by Van der Heyden ). Now, you really must look at this, my dear isn't it wonderful? Why, you can count every single brick in the walls, and the tiny little figures with their features all complete; you want a magnifying glass to see it all! How conscientious painters were in those days! And what a difference from those "Impressionists," as they call themselves.

Her Comp. ( apathetically ). Yes, indeed; I wonder whether it would be better to get our tea here, or wait till we get outside?

The Eld. L. Oh, it's too early yet. Look at that poor hunted stag jumping over a dining room table, and upsetting the glasses and things. I suppose that's LANDSEER no, I see it's some one of the name of SNYDERS. I expect he got the idea from LANDSEER, though, don't you?

Her Comp. Very likely indeed, dear; but ( pursuing her original train of thought ) you get rather nice tea at some of these aërated bread shops; so perhaps if we waited ( &c., &c. )


Two Pretty Nieces with an Elderly Uncle ( coming to "Apollo and Marsyas," by Tintoretto ). What was the story of Apollo and Marsyas, Uncle?

The Uncle . Apollo? Oh, come, you've heard of him , the er Sun God, Phoebus Apollo, and all that?

His Nieces . Oh, yes, we know all that ; but who was Marsyas, and what does the Catalogue mean by "Athena and three Umpires?"

The Uncle . Oh er hum! Didn't they teach you all that at school? Well they ought to have, that's all? Where's your Aunt where's your Aunt?

Mr. Ernest Stodgely ( before the Portrait of the Marchesa Isabella Grimaldi )... Continue reading book >>

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