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Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 146, June 17, 1914 By: Various |
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VOL. 146 JUNE 17, 1914 CHARIVARIA.
"The Pocket Asquith" is announced, and we are asked to say that the
pocket in question is not Mr. REDMOND'S. The discovery of gold particles in a duck's gizzard has, we are told,
caused a rush of mining prospectors to Liberty Township, Ohio. It is
expected that the duck will shortly be floated as a limited liability
company. The Valuation Department has discovered at Llangammarch Wells,
Brecknockshire, 50 acres of land for which no owner can be found.
Anyone, therefore, who has lost any land is recommended to communicate
at once with the Department. The ASTRONOMER ROYAL, in reading his annual report at the Royal
Observatory last week, said that the mean temperature of the year 1913
was 50.5 degrees. Seeing that this temperature was one degree above the
average for the 70 years ended 1910, we consider that the epithet was
undeserved. We hesitate to suggest that The Times is catering for cannibals, but
it is certainly curious that a recent issue should have contained the
following headlines: "PREPARED FOODS. INFANTS, CHILDREN & INVALIDS." By the way, the little essay on "Foods of Antiquity" omitted to mention
that these may still be picked up by curio hunters at certain railway
buffets. What has become of all the cabs which have been displaced by the taxis?
is a question which is often asked. It has now been partially answered.
According to a cable published last week, "The steamer Rappahannock
reports the presence of numerous icebergs and 'growlers' on the North
Atlantic steamship routes." At last there are signs of a reaction against under dressing on the
stage. The producers of a new revue advertise: 50 REAL LIVE PERFORMERS. OVER 250 PARISIAN MODEL FROCKS AND HATS. Mr. H. CSCINSKY, the author of the standard work, English Furniture of
the Eighteenth Century , says that 999 out of every 1,000 pieces of old
oak furniture in the present day are forgeries. The only way, therefore,
to ensure that you get a genuine specimen is to order 1,000 pieces, and
the furniture trade trusts that all collectors will take this elementary
precaution when purchasing. The abandonment of the scheme for the rebuilding of the Lambeth Police
Court has caused some disappointment among local criminals, some of
whom, we are glad to hear, are ashamed to be seen in the present
structure. [Illustration: "Wotcher bin doin' fightin'?" "NO BOOHOO I BIN FOUGHT!"] Being convinced that Germany possesses too many Leagues and Associations
the town of Seesen, in the Harz, has established an "Association for
Combating the Mania for the Formation of Leagues and Associations" not
realising until too late that they have thereby formed one more. "Keep your arms" is Sir EDWARD CARSON'S latest advice to the Ulster
volunteers and they have kept their heads so well that they should have
no difficulty in this respect. An American clergyman got into trouble last week for holding up his hand
and trying to stop the traffic in the Strand. The sky pilot found out
pretty soon that he was out of his element. A man placed a bank paper bag containing £63 10s. on the counter at the
chief post office in Swansea, one day last week, while he changed a
postal order. When he turned to pick up the bag it had disappeared. The
local police incline to the view that someone must have taken it. A muddle headed correspondent writes to express surprise on learning
that the day devoted to collections for the charities connected with the
Variety Stage should be known as "Tag Day." The old fellow had always
imagined that "Tag Day" was a toast on German war vessels. A TIME EXPOSURE. I turned the family album's page
And noted with a smile
The efforts of a bygone age
At photographic style;
There, pegtopped, grandpa could be seen,
While grandma beamed, contented
To know her brand new crinoline
The latest thing invented... Continue reading book >>
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Essay/Short nonfiction |
Non-fiction |
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