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Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 158, 1920-01-21 By: Various |
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VOL. 158. January 21st, 1920.
CHARIVARIA. We understand that the Frenchman who lost his temper so completely during a
duel with pistols that he threatened to shoot his opponent will be
suspended from taking part in similar encounters for the next six months. A man who had half a ton of coal delivered to him without warning has been
removed to an asylum, where he is being treated for coal shock. Wrexham Education Committee has decided not to have Welsh taught in the
elementary schools. Doubts have recently arisen, it appears, as to whether
it will ever be the chosen medium of communication in the League of
Nations. "There is a movement on foot," says The Daily Mail , "to brighten the
dress of boys." Smith Tertius writes to say that, according to the best
opinion in his set, the waist should be worn fuller and less attention paid
to the "sit" of the shirt. A man recently arrested in Dublin was found to have in his possession a
loaded revolver, three sticks of gelignite, four lengths of fuse, a number
of detonators and a jemmy. It is thought that he may have been dabbling in
politics. "Demobilised men are doing such execution at the London World's Fair
Shooting Galleries," says a news item, "that the supply of bottles is
running short." Nothing, however, can be done about it till the PRIME
MINISTER returns from Paris. "There is a proper time for the last meal of the day," says a medical
writer. We have always been of the opinion that supper should not be taken
between meals. After addressing a meeting for two hours, says a contemporary, TROTSKY
fainted. A more humane man would have fainted first. We feel very jealous of the suburban gentleman who wrote last week asking
what an O.B.E. was, and whether, if it was a bird, it should be fed on
hemp seed or ants' eggs. With reference to the wooden house which fell down last week, the builder
is of the opinion that a sparrow must have accidentally stepped on it. Lord BIRKENHEAD describes the Coalition as an "invertebrate and undefined
body." Meaning that they have rather more wishbone than backbone. An Indian native was recently sentenced to write a poem. In other countries
of course you commit a poem first and are sentenced afterwards. Mr. F.H. ROSE, M.P., writing in The Sunday Pictorial , refers to the
Ministry of Munitions as "a veritable monument of superfluous futility."
For ourselves we don't mind futility so long as it isn't superfluous. Will the lady who, during the Winter Sales' scramble, inadvertently went
off with two husbands please return the other one to his rightful owner? Mr. J.H. SYMONS, the Weymouth draper novelist, has told a Star reporter
that he only writes novels for a hobby. This sets him apart from the many
who do it with malicious intent. A referee has lodged a complaint against the Football Club on whose ground
he was assaulted by several spectators who disagreed with his decisions.
Although sympathising with him we fear his attempt to rob our national game
of its most sporting element will not meet with general approval. It is generally expected that, owing to the number of deaths from whisky
poisoning which have occurred of late, America may decide to go dry again. It is reported on good authority that Mr. C.B. COCHRAN will visit America
daily until the signature of DEMPSEY'S manager is obtained. LENIN, says a contemporary, has completed his plans for the overthrow of
civilisation. It seems that all our efforts to conceal from him its
presence in our midst are doomed to failure. "A search for combined beauty and brains," says The Daily Mail , "has been
instituted by The Weekly Dispatch ." We gather, however, that a good
circulation will also be taken into consideration. According to the Technical Secretary of the Civil Aviation Committee a
vehicle has been designed which is equally at home in the air, on land, on
the water and under it... Continue reading book >>
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