Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 158, 1920-04-07   By: Various

VOL. 158

APRIL 7, 1920

CHARIVARIA.

"Do the British people," asks Mr. BLATCHFORD, "understand the nature of the monster modern military science has created?" We hope to hear later what name Mr. WINSTON CHURCHILL has found for Mr. BLATCHFORD.

Agitation for a Federal Divorce Law is being revived in the United States. It appears that there are still some backward States where the expenses of a divorce suit mount up to something like ten dollars and the parties often have to wait as long as three weeks before the knot is untied.

"It has now been decided definitely," says The Daily Express , "that Sir AUCKLAND GEDDES will leave England on April 10th." This disposes finally of the rumour that he intended taking it with him.

The natives of the Andaman Islands average about seventy pounds each in weight. They are so short in stature that their feet only just reach the ground in time.

M. LOUCHEUR suggests that France should build houses similar to those which are not being built in England.

"Sergeant R. Pernotte," says a student of human endeavour, "last week punched a ball for fifty hours without a break." It is presumed that the ball must have done something to annoy him.

Thirty thousand years ago, says a weekly journal, the seas around England were at a higher level than at present. It is difficult to know what can be done about it, but it is just as well that the matter should be mentioned.

According to Mr. M. T. SIMM, M.P., there are many wayside inns of a passable nature. The trouble, of course, is that so many people have a difficulty in passing them.

We understand that Mr. Justice 's question, "Who is Mr. LLOYD GEORGE?" has been postponed to a date to be fixed later.

A trade journal advertises a new calculating machine which will total up stupendous figures without any human help at all. A correspondent writes to say that in his house he has the identical gas meter which gave the inventor his idea.

The contemporary which refers to the discovery of a gold ring inside a cod fish as extraordinary evidently cannot be aware that many profiteers who go in for fishing are nowadays using such articles as bait.

A purse containing nearly a hundred pounds in treasury notes, picked up by a policeman in South Wales, has not yet been claimed. It is now thought probable that a local miner may have dropped his week's wages whilst entering his car and that his secretary has not yet called his attention to the deficit.

"The way some newsboys dodge in and out of the moving traffic is most dangerous and a serious accident is sure to result before very long," complains a writer in an evening paper. For ourselves we cannot but admire this attempt on the boys' part to make history while in the act of selling it.

We learn from an evening paper that a large woollen warehouse in London was completely destroyed by fire the other day. We cannot understand why some people use such inflammable material for building purposes.

An old pleasure boat proprietor at Yarmouth has stated in an interview that, although all his skiffs and dinghies are ten to fifteen years old, they are much more trustworthy than those being built at the present time. We await, fearfully, the comments of Lord FISHER.

Dutch wasps, says a news item, are very much like British. Only the finished expert can tell the difference on being stung.

It is said that the Dutch are the most religious race of to day. Of course it is well known that the Chinese pray more than the Dutch, but then nobody understands what they are saying.

The Ascot Fire Brigade went on strike last week and several important fires had to be postponed at the last moment.