Books Should Be Free Loyal Books Free Public Domain Audiobooks & eBook Downloads |
|
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 104, January 21, 1893 By: Various |
---|
![]()
OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. VOL. 104.
January 21, 1893.
CONVERSATIONAL HINTS FOR YOUNG SHOOTERS. THE KEEPER. ( With an Excursus on Beaters. ) Of the many varieties of keeper, I propose, at present, to consider only
the average sort of keeper, who looks after a shooting, comprising
partridges, pheasants, hares, and rabbits, in an English county. Now it is
to be observed that your ordinary keeper is not a conversational animal. He
has, as a rule, too much to do to waste time in unnecessary talk. To begin
with, he has to control his staff, the men and boys who walk in line with
you through the root fields, or beat the coverts for pheasants. That might
seem at first sight to be an easy business, but it is actually one of the
most difficult in the world. For thorough perverse stupidity, you will not
easily match the autochthonous beater. Watch him as he trudges along, slow,
expressionless, clod resembling, lethargic, and say how you would like to
be the chief of such an army. He is always getting out of line, pressing
forward unduly, or hanging back too much, and the loud voice of the keeper
makes the woods resound with remonstrance, entreaty, and blame, hurled at
his bovine head. After lunch, it is true, the beater wakes up for a little.
Then shall you hear WILLIAM exchanging confidences from one end of the line
to the other with JARGE, while the startled pheasant rises too soon and
goes back, to the despair of the keeper and the guns. Then, too, are heard
the shouts of laughter which greet the appearance of a rabbit, and the air
is thick with the sticks that the joyous, beery beaters fling at the
scurrying form of their hereditary foe. It is marvellous to note with what
a venomous hatred the beater regards the bunny. Pheasant or partridge he is
careless of; even the hare is, in comparison, a thing of nought, but let
him once set eyes on a rabbit, and his whole being seems to change. His eye
absolutely flashes, his chest heaves with excitement beneath the ancient
piece of sacking that protects his form from thorns. If the rabbit falls to
the shot, he yells with exultation; if it be missed, an expression of
morose and gloomy disappointment settles on his face, as who should say,
"Things are played out; the world is worthless!" [Illustration: On their Beat.] All these characteristics are the keeper's despair; though, to be sure, he
has staunch lieutenants in his under keepers; and towards the end of the
day he can always count on two sympathising allies in the postman and the
policeman. These two never fail to come out in the afternoon to join the
beaters. It is amusing to watch the demeanour of the beaters in the
policeman's presence. Some of them, it is possible, have been immeshed by
the law, and have made the constable's acquaintance in his professional
capacity. Others are conscious of undiscovered peccadilloes, or they feel
that on some future day they may be led to transgress rules, of which the
policeman is the sturdy embodiment. None of them is, therefore, quite at
his best in the policeman's presence. Their attitude may be described
as one of uneasy familiarity, bursting here and there into jocular
nervousness, but never quite attaining the rollicking point. You may
sometimes take advantage of this feeling to let off a joke on a beater.
Select a stout, plethoric one, and say to him, "Mind you keep your eye on
the policeman, or he'll poach a rabbit before you can say knife." This
simple inversion of probabilities and positions is quite certain to "go." A
hesitating smile will first creep into the corners of the beater's eye.
After an interval spent in grappling with the jest, he will become purple,
and finally he will explode. During the rest of the day you will hear him repeating your little
pleasantry either to himself or to his companions. You can keep it up by
saying now and then, "How many did the constable pocket that last beat?"
( Shouts of laughter. ) Thus shall your reputation as a humorist be
established amongst the beating fraternity ("that 'ere Muster JACKSON, 'e
do make a chap laugh, that 'e do," is the formula) and if you revisit the
same shooting next year, a beater is sure to take an opportunity of saying
to you, with a grin on his face, "Policeman's a comin' out to day, Sir; I'm
a goin' to hev my eye tight on 'im, so as 'e don't pocket no rabbits," to
which you will reply, "That's right, GEORGE, you stick to it, and you'll be
a policeman yourself some day," at which impossible anticipation there will
be fresh explosions of mirth... Continue reading book >>
|
Book sections | ||
---|---|---|
Genres for this book |
---|
Essay/Short nonfiction |
Non-fiction |
eBook links |
---|
Wikipedia – Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 104, January 21, 1893 |
eBook Downloads | |
---|---|
ePUB eBook • iBooks for iPhone and iPad • Nook • Sony Reader |
Kindle eBook • Mobi file format for Kindle |
Read eBook • Load eBook in browser |
Text File eBook • Computers • Windows • Mac |
Review this book |
---|