Books Should Be Free Loyal Books Free Public Domain Audiobooks & eBook Downloads |
|
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 93, July 16, 1887 By: Various |
---|
![]()
OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. VOLUME 93. JULY 16, 1887. THE LAST VISIT TO THE ACADEMY. [Illustration: No. 691. The Donkey Rider Stopped. "You can't go further
than this for twopence."] [Illustration: No. 540. Arrival of the G.O.M. Collars in Venice.] [Illustration: No. 35. A Brave Lassie. "Come on! the whole lot of you!
I'll give it you!"] [Illustration: No. 928. Cat and Child Fight.] ABSURD TO A DEGREE. Now that girls have proved themselves capable of earning the highest
University honours, why should women remain debarred of University
degrees? If any senatorial difficulty precludes the removal of that
ridiculous injustice, a girl forbidden to term herself a Bachelor of
Arts, for example, might, it has been suggested, "invent some other
title more significant of the distinction she has won." No invention
could be easier. Her alternative for Bachelor would be obviously
Spinster of Arts. No Graduate able to pass the Pons Asinorum can be
such a preposterous donkey as to persist in denying even the
plainest possibly the prettiest Passwoman that. The Dons will be
unworthy of the name they go by unless they immediately remove the
disability their old world statutes have imposed upon the Donne . ROBERT AT THE ACADEMY. I PAID my reglar wisit to the Academy last week, and was glad to find
that my werry ernest remonstrance of last year had perduced sech a
change as regards Staggerers. No Miss Menads a hunting in Burnham
Beeches without no close on to speak of, and no Mr. Cassandra a carrying
off of a pore yung lady afore she's had time to dress, merely because
she upset the salad bowl. I don't think it's because "familyaryty breeds content," as the poet
says, that I am less staggered than last year, but becos there ain't so
many staggerers to be staggered at. Not that there ain't none. Why,
there's one lady in the werry same dishabil as Madame Wenus herself a
poring out somethink that the Catalog says is a incantashun, but then
her pecooliar costoom is reelly xcusable, for she's that red hot that
wood excuse anythink or nothink, as in her case. One of the jolliest picturs to my mind is a portrate of a Port Wine
drinker. Why, it seems to be a oozing out of ewery pore of his skin! and
nothink younger than '63, I'll be bound. What a life to lead, and what a
life to look back upon with proud satisfacshun! Poor Lord HARTINGTON looks terribly bored at having to be gazed at so
constantly by so many longing, if not loving, eyes, and at being pinted
at by the old dowagers as their bo ideall of a sun in law. Ah, Mr. STORY tells us a story as I've offen witnessed, when a young
swell stands treat to a few frends and then ain't got enuff money to pay
the bill! Wot a nuisance for him, but still wuss for the Landlord, and
wussest of all for the pore Waiter. Poor Mr. GROSSMITH looks werry much
paler than when I saw him after a jolly dinner at the Mettropole. I
thinks as a glass or two of old Port would do him all the good in the
world. I now come to another staggerer, that fairly puzzles me. It's a nice
young Lady, named, as I see by the Catalog, Euridice, which I beleeve is
Greek for "You're a nice one!" who is a trying for to pull a rock down,
but I'm sure she'll never do it, though she has taken off ewery morsel
of her close, ewen down to her stockings, to give her more strength. I
really wonders as she doesn't put a few of her things on, as she must
see as Mr. HADES is a cumming towards her, and won't he jest be shocked!
And then here's another young Lady, almost as lightly drest, a sitting
quietly on a large cold stone, as if there wasn't no North East wind a
blowing, and by moonlight too. What time can she expect to git home, and
what will her poor Mother say when she sees her? If I'd ha' bin Mr. HAYNE, Esq., M.P., I'd ha bort a new Hat afore I was
painted for my pictur, and ewen gone to the xpense of a new pair of
gloves, speshally as his pictur is a going to be given to sumbody... Continue reading book >>
|
Book sections | ||
---|---|---|
Genres for this book |
---|
Essay/Short nonfiction |
Non-fiction |
eBook links |
---|
Wikipedia – Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 93, July 16, 1887 |
eBook Downloads | |
---|---|
ePUB eBook • iBooks for iPhone and iPad • Nook • Sony Reader |
Kindle eBook • Mobi file format for Kindle |
Read eBook • Load eBook in browser |
Text File eBook • Computers • Windows • Mac |
Review this book |
---|