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Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 153, August 29, 1917   By:

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PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

VOL. 153.

AUGUST 29, 1917.

CHARIVARIA.

Germany is a bankrupt concern, says The Daily Mail . A denial is expected every hour from Herr MICHAELIS, who is Germany's Official Deceiver.

Much sympathy is felt in Germany for Admiral VON TIRPITZ, whose proposed cure in Switzerland is off. His medical adviser has advised him to take a long sea voyage, but failed to couple with the advice a few particulars on how to carry it out.

Patrons of the royal theatres in Germany who pay in gold can now obtain two seats for the price of one. This is not the inducement it might seem to be. The German who used to buy one ticket and occupy two seats is almost extinct.

A chicken with four legs and four wings is reported from Soberton. Did it come from any other place we should receive the story with suspicion.

"New Labour troubles are brewing," declares The Evening News . The chief Labour trouble, however, seems to be not brewing.

One sportsman, says a news item, has landed seventy seven pounds of bream at Wrexham. It may have been sport, but it has all the earmarks of honest toil.

A man charged with smoking in a munitions factory told the court he was trying to cure the toothache. A fine was imposed, the Bench pointing out that the man was lucky not to have lost the tooth altogether.

As a means of preserving the memory of hero M.P.s, Mr. WINSTON CHURCHILL suggests a name plate on the back of the seats they had in the House. We understand that Mr. GINNELL resolutely refuses to have such a plate on the back of his old seat.

Honour where honour is due. A man named KITE told the Willesden magistrate that he had joined the Royal Flying Corps, and the magistrate refrained from being funny.

Light cars are now becoming very popular, says The Autocar . We understand that they have always been preferred by pedestrians, who realise that they make only a slight indentation in the person as compared with the really heavy car.

"Whatever else may happen," says a contemporary, "the final decision as to Stockholm rests with the Government." Our contemporary is far too modest. A few months ago the final decision would have rested with the stunt Press.

Portsmouth is to have three M.P.s, we read, under the Proportional Representation scheme, though it is not known what Portsmouth has done to deserve this.

Something like a panic was caused in the City the other day when news got round that no mention of Mr. WINSTON CHURCHILL appeared in a Morning Post leader.

A postwoman charged at Old Street Police Court admitted that she had swallowed a postal order and a pound Treasury note. Some women have a remarkable objection to using the ordinary purse.

A woodworm in the timbering of Westminster Hall has been attacked with a gas spray by the Board of Works. The little fellow put up a gallant fight and died bravely defending his third line trenches against a vastly superior force.

The Vienna Neue Freie Presse says that so far £18,000,000,000 has been spent on the War. But even those who contend that it might have been more cheaply done admit that the notice was too short to enable the belligerents to call for tenders.

In a Brixton tramway car the other morning Mr. LLOYD GEORGE, it is announced, had to borrow coppers from a companion to pay his fare. The most popular explanation is that he had spent all his money in buying the latest editions of the evening papers.

According to the Acton magistrate, under new instructions boys over fourteen must pay their own fines or go to prison, parents paying the fines for those below that age. This class legislation is bitterly resented by some of our younger wage earners, who intend to insist upon their right to pay for their own amusements.

People living next door to a post office where burglars blew open the safe thought it was an air raid and went into the cellar... Continue reading book >>


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