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Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 150, January 19, 1916   By:

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PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI

VOL. 150

JANUARY 19, 1916.

CHARIVARIA.

In a description of Lord KITCHENER'S home at Broome Park we read that on the way there one passes a kind of crater known by the rustics as "Old England's Hole." And a little farther on you come to the man who got Old England out of it.

A German professor advocates the appointment of State matrimonial agents. Elderly and experienced ladies and gentlemen should be employed to bring young people together, and "unostentatiously to give them practical counsel, conveying their remarks tactfully, and in such a way as not to awaken the spirit of contradiction found in youthful minds;" paying due regard, moreover, to theories of eugenics and heredity. The Winged Boy disguised as an antique German professor makes an attractive picture.

Some anxiety was caused in America by the news that the FORD Peace party was to meet in the Zoo at the Hague. But they have all emerged safely.

The Governor of South Carolina, who was one of the members of this heroic mission, left the Hague in a great hurry and returned to America before the rest of the delegates. Much curiosity is expressed as to what the Governor of North Carolina will have to say to him on this occasion.

In spite of the Government's official discouragement of any further rise in wages a demand for an increase of no less than 33 1/3 per cent, has been made by the "knockers up" in the Manchester district. For going round in the chill hours of the morning and wakening the workers, these blood suckers (chiefly old men and cripples) receive at present the princely remuneration of threepence per head per week; and they have now the effrontery to ask for fourpence.

The German Government has decided to raise the charge for telegrams. WOLFF'S Bureau has instructed its correspondents that in order to meet this new impost the percentage of truth in its despatches must be still further diminished.

Before the opening of the Luxemburg Parliament two members of the Opposition threw the chairs belonging to Ministers out of the window. It is feared that something of the kind may be attempted at Westminster, since several Members have been observed to cast longing eyes upon the Treasury Bench.

With a view to increasing the food supply the German Government have extended the time for shooting hares from January 16th to February 1st, and for pheasants from February 1st to March 1st. The dachshund season, we understand, will be continued for the duration of the War.

Count KOSPOTH, a member of the Prussian Upper House, in the course of an energetic plea for economy, remarks that "at one's country seat one can very well do without a motor car, and even with two to four horses in stables instead of six or eight." This was read with great satisfaction by the Berlin Hausfrau on a meatless day when the bread card was exhausted.

The House of Commons was quite relieved when Sir GEORGE REID took his seat. There had been some fears that he would take two.

A young woman who mistook Vine street police station for a tavern, and was fined ten shillings for drunkenness, is reported to have expressed the opinion that there is room for improvement in the nomenclature of our public edifices.

"My grave doubt," writes a Conscientious Objector regarding his fellows, "is whether there is any reasonable chance that most of them will be able to convince a tribunal that their conscientious objection is real." It may comfort him to know that his doubt is very widely shared.

"DEAR MR. PUNCH," writes a soldier at the Front who has been reading the Parliamentary reports, "Do you think an officer out here who developed 'conscientious objections' might get a week's leave?"

In the course of a debate in the Reichstag on the German Press Bureau it was revealed that the Censor had struck out quotations from GOETHE as being dangerous to the State... Continue reading book >>


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