Books Should Be Free Loyal Books Free Public Domain Audiobooks & eBook Downloads |
|
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 98, May 24, 1890 By: Various |
---|
![]()
OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. VOLUME 98. MAY 24, 1890. MR. PUNCH'S MORAL MUSIC HALL DRAMAS. No. XI. THE RIVAL DOLLS. "Miss JENNY and POLLY Had each a new dolly." Vide Poem. CHARACTERS. Miss Jenny }
} By the Sisters LEAMAR.
Miss Polly } The Soldier Doll }
} By the Two ARMSTRONGS.
The Sailor Doll } SCENE A Nursery. Enter Miss JENNY and Miss POLLY, who perform a
blameless step dance with an improving chorus . Oh, isn't it jolly! we've each a new dolly,
And one is a Soldier, the other's a Tar!
We're fully contented with what's been presented,
Such good little children we both of us are! [ They dance up to a cupboard, from which they bring out two large
Dolls, which they place on chairs. Miss J. Don't they look nice!
Come, POLLY, let us strive
To make ourselves believe that they're alive! Miss P. (addressing Sailor D.). I'm glad you're mine. I dote on all
that's nautical. The Sailor D. (opening his eyes suddenly). Excuse me, Miss, your
sister's more my sort o' gal! [ Kisses his hand to Miss J., who shrinks back, shocked and alarmed . Miss J. Oh, POLLY, did you hear? I feel so shy! The Soldier D. (with mild self assertion). I can say "Pa" and
"Ma" and wink my eye. [ Does so at Miss P., who runs in terror to Miss J.'s side . Miss J. Why, both are showing signs of animation! Miss P. Who'd think we had such strong imagination! The Soldier Doll ( aside to the Sailor D.). I say, old fellow, we have
caught their fancy
In each of us they now a real man see!
Let's keep it up! The Sailor D. (dubiously). D'ye think as we can do it? The Soldier D. You stick by me, and I will see you through it.
Sit up, and turn your toes out, don't you loll;
Put on the Man, and drop the bloomin' Doll! [ The Sailor Doll pulls himself together, and rises from chair
importantly . The Sailor D. (in the manner of a Music hall Chairman) Ladies, with
your kind leave, this gallant gent
Will now his military sketch present. [Miss J. and P. applaud; the Soldier D., after feebly
expostulating, is induced to sing . Song, by the Soldier Doll. When I used to be displayed
In the Burlington Arcade,
With artillery arrayed
Underneath. Shoulder Hump!
I imagine that I made
All the Lady Dolls afraid,
I should draw my battle blade
From its sheath, Shoulder Hump!
For I'm Mars's gallant son,
And my back I've shown to none,
Nor was ever seen to run
From the strife! &c.
Oh, the battles I'd have won,
And the dashing deeds have done,
If I'd ever fired a gun
In my life! &c. Refrain (to be sung marching round Stage). By your right flank, wheel!
Let the front rank kneel!
With the bristle of the steel
To the foe.
Till their regiments reel,
At our rattling peal,
And the military zeal
We show! [ Repeat, with the whole company marching round after him. The Soldier Doll. My friend will next oblige this jolly Jack Tar
Will give his song and chorus in charàck tar! [ Same business with Sailor D. Song, by the Sailor Doll. In costume I'm
So maritime,
You'd never suppose the fact is,
That with the Fleet
In Regent Street,
I'd precious little naval practice!
There was saucy craft,
Rigged fore an' aft,
Inside o' Mr. CRE MER'S.
From Noah's Arks to Clipper built barques,
Like wise mechanical stea mers. But to navigate the Serpentine,
Yeo ho, my lads, ahoy!
With clockwork, sails, or spirits of wine,
Yeo ho, my lads, ahoy!
I did respeckfully decline,
So I was left in port to pine,
Which wasn't azactually the line
Of a rollicking Sailor Boy,
Yeo ho! Of a rollicking Sailor Bo oy! Yes, there was lots
Of boats and yachts,
Of timber and of tin, too;
But one and all
Was far too small
For a doll o' my size to get into!
I was too big
On any brig
To ship without disas ter,
And it wouldn't never do
When the cap'n and the crew
Were a set o' little swabs all plas ter! Chorus So to navigate the Serpentine, &c... Continue reading book >>
|
Book sections | ||
---|---|---|
Genres for this book |
---|
Essay/Short nonfiction |
Non-fiction |
eBook links |
---|
Wikipedia – Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 98, May 24, 1890 |
eBook Downloads | |
---|---|
ePUB eBook • iBooks for iPhone and iPad • Nook • Sony Reader |
Kindle eBook • Mobi file format for Kindle |
Read eBook • Load eBook in browser |
Text File eBook • Computers • Windows • Mac |
Review this book |
---|