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Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 150, February 16, 1916   By:

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PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI

VOL. 150

FEBRUARY 16, 1916

CHARIVARIA.

MANY early nestings are recorded as the result of the mild weather, and at least one occasional visitor ( Polonius bombifer ) has laid eggs in various parts of the country.

Says a learned correspondent of The Observer : "There may be fundamental differences between observed phenomena without affecting the validity of a strict analogy; and after all an analogy is based upon presented similarities. It is sufficient if the sameness should apply to particular attributes or occurrences found by induction to have similar relationships or consequences." It looks, after all, as if some of our Museums wanted closing.

The "popular parts" of the Natural History Museum are to remain open, though it is still felt by the Government that, at a time when the practice of frugality is incumbent upon everybody, the spectacle of stuffed animals may tend to have a demoralising effect upon the young.

From The Evening News :

"Our Daily War time Menu.

Fish Pie. Salt Beef. Turnips or Carrots. Baked Potatoes. Banana Pancake. Coffee."

This will gratify those who believed that our contemporary's diet consisted largely of brimstone.

It is reported from Holland that Germans there are refusing German notes. In the United States however they are still accepted at their face value.

It is understood that the Government recruiting authorities, with whose jeu d'esprit all Trafalgar Square is ringing, have definitely rejected a proposed placard that says

"WILL YOU 'ATE NOW OR WAIT TILL MARCH 8?"

The Admiralty has announced that sea fishing is included among the certified occupations exempted from the provisions of the Military Service Act. The suggestion that the other kind of fishermen should be rejected for psychopathic reasons has been bitterly resented by some of our most persistent anglers.

"Many of the men," writes a correspondent at one of the Fronts, "have apparently been without shirts for some time, and consequently the Army authorities, with that kindly consideration which always distinguishes them, have issued to the men a new pair of pants all round."

A bird eating spider has just arrived at the Zoo. While its diet is commonly confined to quite small birds the animal is understood to have expressed extreme confidence in its ability to eat eagles, if only to show that its heart is in the right place.

"Germany's sea dogs," says the Berliner Tageblatt , "cannot content themselves much longer with merely showing their teeth." This is obviously unfair to TIRPITZ'S tars, most of whom have not hesitated to show their tails also.

The KAISER at Headquarters lifted his glass to KING FERDINAND, this being the kindliest way of intimating that he has Bulgaria on toast.

It is rumoured that the Government has offered the control of our anti aircraft defences to the Office of Works, but that Mr. LULU HARCOURT has declined the responsibility, adding, however, that he will gladly repair any damage done by Zeppelins to the flower beds in his department.

[Illustration: V.A.D. wardmaid , M.A. ( to kitchen maid ). "I'M REALLY A UNIVERSITY LECTURER; BUT AT A TIME LIKE THIS WE ARE ALL HUMAN BEINGS."]

THE WORD OF A GERMAN.

YOUR troth was broken ere the trumpets blew; Into the fight with unclean hands you rode; Your spurs were sullied and the sword you drew Bore stain of outrage done to honour's code.

And you have played your game as you began. Witness the white flag raised by shattered ranks, The cry for mercy, answered, man to man And the swift stroke of traitor steel for thanks.

Once bitten we were twice a little shy, And then forgot; but with the mounting score Our old good nature, tried a shade too high, Stiffens its lip and means to stand no more... Continue reading book >>


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