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Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 150, February 16, 1916 By: Various |
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VOL. 150 FEBRUARY 16, 1916 CHARIVARIA. MANY early nestings are recorded as the result of the mild weather, and
at least one occasional visitor ( Polonius bombifer ) has laid eggs in
various parts of the country. Says a learned correspondent of The Observer : "There may be
fundamental differences between observed phenomena without affecting the
validity of a strict analogy; and after all an analogy is based upon
presented similarities. It is sufficient if the sameness should apply to
particular attributes or occurrences found by induction to have similar
relationships or consequences." It looks, after all, as if some of our
Museums wanted closing. The "popular parts" of the Natural History Museum are to remain open,
though it is still felt by the Government that, at a time when the
practice of frugality is incumbent upon everybody, the spectacle of
stuffed animals may tend to have a demoralising effect upon the young. From The Evening News : "Our Daily War time Menu. Fish Pie.
Salt Beef. Turnips or Carrots.
Baked Potatoes.
Banana Pancake.
Coffee." This will gratify those who believed that our contemporary's diet
consisted largely of brimstone. It is reported from Holland that Germans there are refusing German
notes. In the United States however they are still accepted at their
face value. It is understood that the Government recruiting authorities, with whose
jeu d'esprit all Trafalgar Square is ringing, have definitely rejected
a proposed placard that says "WILL YOU 'ATE NOW
OR WAIT TILL MARCH 8?" The Admiralty has announced that sea fishing is included among the
certified occupations exempted from the provisions of the Military
Service Act. The suggestion that the other kind of fishermen should be
rejected for psychopathic reasons has been bitterly resented by some of
our most persistent anglers. "Many of the men," writes a correspondent at one of the Fronts, "have
apparently been without shirts for some time, and consequently the Army
authorities, with that kindly consideration which always distinguishes
them, have issued to the men a new pair of pants all round." A bird eating spider has just arrived at the Zoo. While its diet is
commonly confined to quite small birds the animal is understood to have
expressed extreme confidence in its ability to eat eagles, if only to
show that its heart is in the right place. "Germany's sea dogs," says the Berliner Tageblatt , "cannot content
themselves much longer with merely showing their teeth." This is
obviously unfair to TIRPITZ'S tars, most of whom have not hesitated to
show their tails also. The KAISER at Headquarters lifted his glass to KING FERDINAND, this
being the kindliest way of intimating that he has Bulgaria on toast. It is rumoured that the Government has offered the control of our
anti aircraft defences to the Office of Works, but that Mr. LULU
HARCOURT has declined the responsibility, adding, however, that he will
gladly repair any damage done by Zeppelins to the flower beds in his
department. [Illustration: V.A.D. wardmaid , M.A. ( to
kitchen maid ). "I'M REALLY A UNIVERSITY LECTURER; BUT
AT A TIME LIKE THIS WE ARE ALL HUMAN BEINGS."] THE WORD OF A GERMAN. YOUR troth was broken ere the trumpets blew;
Into the fight with unclean hands you rode;
Your spurs were sullied and the sword you drew
Bore stain of outrage done to honour's code. And you have played your game as you began.
Witness the white flag raised by shattered ranks,
The cry for mercy, answered, man to man
And the swift stroke of traitor steel for thanks. Once bitten we were twice a little shy,
And then forgot; but with the mounting score
Our old good nature, tried a shade too high,
Stiffens its lip and means to stand no more... Continue reading book >>
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Essay/Short nonfiction |
Non-fiction |
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