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Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 147, August 12, 1914 By: Various |
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VOL. 147 AUGUST 12, 1914 CHARIVARIA.
A gentleman with a foreign name who was arrested in the neighbourhood of
the Tyne shipyards last week with measuring gauges and a map in his
possession explained, on being charged, that he was looking for work. It
is possible that some hard labour may be found for him. "Members of Parliament will not suffer," was the comfortable statement
of Mr. JOSIAH WEDGWOOD during a speech on the subject of the War. As a
matter of fact, owing to the French cooks employed at the House of
Commons having returned to their country, the menu at the House will
have to consist, until the end of the session, of plain English fare. The foresight of the British Public in refusing to subscribe the large
amount of money asked of them for the Olympic Sports in Berlin is now
apparent. Although still under twenty one years of age, and therefore not yet
liable for military service, GEORGES CARPENTIER has gallantly joined the
colours as a volunteer. It would be pleasant if he and the Russian
HACKENSCHMIDT could shortly meet in Berlin. A dear old lady writes to say that she was shocked to read that Sir
ERNEST SHACKLETON'S ship, on leaving the Thames, was hooted at by
sirens, and that such conduct makes her ashamed of her sex. Meanwhile, thoughtful persons are wondering whether there will be any
fighting at the South Pole. It will be remembered that the Austrians
were also fitting out a South Pole expedition, and friendly rivalry
between the two nations may soon become impossible. The W.S.P.U. has written to the Press to contradict the statement that
the Union has issued instructions that acts of militancy are to be
suspended during the European crisis. The Union, we understand,
considers the statement calculated to cause serious injury to its
reputation. Which reminds us that The Liverpool Evening Echo was, we fancy, the
only paper in the country to announce a sensational victory for
feminism, and we congratulate our contemporary on its coup . We refer
to the following announcement: "At a meeting of the Fellows of All
Souls' College, Oxford, Mrs. Francis William Pember was elected Warden
in place of the late Sir William Anson." The Hon. Sec. of the Fresh Air Fund appeals to ladies to send him their
hair combings, every pound of which will provide a poor child with a day
in the country. We like this idea of turning Old Hair into Fresh Air. The London General Omnibus Company is appointing one lady and a number
of men to act as interpreters and guides. Their costumes, we should say,
will attract a considerable amount of attention, for the lady, we are
told, will wear a braided frock coat and black skirt and straw topped
peak hat, while the men will work in double shifts. By the way it is rumoured that several of our railway companies intend
to follow the example of the L. G. O. C. and employ interpreters to
translate to passengers the names of the railway stations as announced
by porters and guards. At the recent meeting of the British Medical Association at Aberdeen a
doctor advocated the eating of onions and garlic. This should certainly
produce an uninhabited area in one's immediate neighbourhood, and so
render one less liable to catch infectious diseases. "I know not," says Mr. ARNOLD BENNETT, "why I find an acrid pleasure in
beholding mediocrity, the average, the everyday ordinary, as it is; but
I do." Can it be, ARNOLD, because we are all attracted by our opposites? We are authorised to deny the allegation that Lord GLADSTONE, when he
was booed upon his arrival at Waterloo from South Africa, remarked
gaily, "Ah, I see I have not done with my friends the Booers yet!" It is nice to know in these days of lost reputations that Oriental
hospitality, at any rate, shows no signs of decadence... Continue reading book >>
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