Books Should Be Free Loyal Books Free Public Domain Audiobooks & eBook Downloads |
|
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, October 23, 1841 By: Various |
---|
![]()
VOL. 1. FOR THE WEEK ENDING OCTOBER 23, 1841.
THE GREAT CREATURE. Mr. Horatio Fitzharding Fitzfunk was a tall young man, a thin young man, a
pale young man, and, as some of his friends asserted, a decidedly
knock kneed young man. Moreover he was a young man belonging to and
connected with the highly respectable firm of Messrs. Tims and Swindle,
attorneys and bill discounters, of Thavies' inn, Holborn; from the which
highly respectable firm Mr. Horatio Fitzharding Fitzfunk received a salary
of one pound one shilling per week, in requital for his manifold services.
The vocation in which Mr. Horatio Fitzharding Fitzfunk laboured partook
peculiarly of the peripatetic; for at all sorts of hours, and through all
sorts of streets was Mr. Horatio Fitzharding Fitzfunk daily accustomed to
transport his anatomy presenting overdue bills, inquiring after absent
acceptors, invisible indorsers, and departed drawers, for his masters, and
wearing out, as he Mr. Horatio Fitzharding Fitzfunk eloquently expressed
it, "no end of boots for himself." Such was the occupation by which Mr.
Horatio Fitzharding Fitzfunk lived; but such was not the peculiar path to
fame for which his soul longed. No! "he had seen plays, and longed to
blaze upon the stage a star of light." That portion of time which was facetiously called by Messrs. Tims and
Swindle "the leisure" of Mr. Horatio Fitzharding Fitzfunk, being some
eight hours out of the twenty four, was spent in poring over the glorious
pages of the immortal bard; and in the desperate enthusiasm of his heated
genius would he, Mr. Horatio Fitzharding Fitzfunk, suddenly burst forth in
some of the most exciting passages, and with Stentorian lungs "render
night hideous" to the startled inhabitant of the one pair back, adjoining
the receptacle of his own truckle bed and mortal frame. Luck, whether good or evil, begat Mr. Horatio Fitzharding Fitzfunk an
introduction to some other talented young gentlemen, who had so far
progressed in histrionic acquirements, that from spouting themselves, they
had taken to spouting their watches, and other stray articles of small
value, to enable them to pay the charges of a private theatre, where, as
often as they could raise the needful, they astonished and delighted their
wondering friends. Among this worshipful society was Mr. Horatio
Fitzharding Fitzfunk adopted and enrolled as a trusty and well beloved
member; and in the above named private theatre, in suit of solemn black,
slightly relieved by an enormous white handkerchief, and a well chalked
countenance, did Mr. Horatio Fitzharding Fitzfunk, at or about the hour of
half past eight being precisely sixty minutes behind the period
announced, in consequence of the non arrival of the one fiddle and ditto
flute comprising, or rather that ought to have comprised, the
orchestra made his début, and a particularly nervous bow to the good
folks there assembled, "as and for" the character "of Hamlet, the Danish
Prince." To describe the "exclamations of delight," the "tornadoes of applause,"
the earthquakes of rapture, or the "breathless breathing" of the entranced
audience, would beat Mr. Bunn into fits, and the German company into
fiddle cases; so, like a newspaper legacy, which is the only one that
never pays duty, we " leave it to our reader's imagination." The die was cast. Mr. Horatio Fitzharding Fitzfunk's former avocations
became intensely irksome if he served a writ it was no longer a "writ of
right." Copies for "Jenkins" were consigned to "Tompkins;" "Brown"
declined pleading to "Smith" and Smith declared off Brown's declaration.
In inquiries after "solvent acceptors," Mr. Horatio Fitzharding Fitzfunk
was still more abroad. In the mystification of his brains, all answers
seemed to be delivered "per contra." Forlorn hopes on three and sixpenny
stamps were converted into the circulating medium; "good actors" were
considered "good men" in the very reverse of Shylock's acceptation of the
term; and astonished indorsers succeeded in "raising the wind" upon
"kites" they would have bet any odds no "wind in the world could induce to
fly... Continue reading book >>
|
Book sections | ||
---|---|---|
Genres for this book |
---|
Essay/Short nonfiction |
Non-fiction |
eBook links |
---|
Wikipedia – Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, October 23, 1841 |
eBook Downloads | |
---|---|
ePUB eBook • iBooks for iPhone and iPad • Nook • Sony Reader |
Kindle eBook • Mobi file format for Kindle |
Read eBook • Load eBook in browser |
Text File eBook • Computers • Windows • Mac |
Review this book |
---|