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Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 146, March 25, 1914 By: Various |
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Edited By Owen Seaman. VOL. 146
March 25, 1914.
CHARIVARIA.
The attention of the AMERICAN AMBASSADOR has been called to the danger
of after dinner speaking. There is many a true word said in
digestion and the truth is apt to hurt sensitive nations. Art circles continue to seethe with indignation over the National
Gallery outrage. Even the Post Impressionists have now no sympathy with
the Suffragettes, for they realise that, while in this instance it was
only a Velasquez which was injured, next time it might be a sublime
Bomberg or a transcendent Wyndham Lewis. Sir HIRAM MAXIM has addressed an open letter to Mrs. PANKHURST
containing a number of questions, and asking for certain definite
information before he joins her party. Nothing, we believe, would please
that party better than to be able to add a Maxim to its armament. A number of Liverpool women, many of whom are Suffragettes, have formed
a Women's Church. A feature of this Church will no doubt be the
institution of frequent Fasts with a view to training the worshippers to
cope with the difficulties of every day life. A fire brigade composed entirely of girl students successfully
fought a fire last week at Wellesley College, a famous American
educational institution. A strongly worded protest against their
unwomanly conduct has, we understand, been sent from the headquarters of
the W.S.P.U. After much wordy warfare between our contemporary's readers, the
proprietors of The Saturday Westminster Gazette have now decided
definitely that it shall be printed on white paper, on the ground that
this is better for the eyesight, and the White and See party has thus
gained a notable victory over the Green and Bear It party. Mr. ROY HORNIMAN has become chairman of the Committee for the Prevention
of Cruelty to Stage Animals. There is good work to be done here. We have
always understood that the hind legs of the Pantomime dragon suffer
terribly while on the stage, owing to the closeness of the atmosphere. Rumours reach us of trouble between The Daily Mail and its
enterprising young protége , The Times. It is all on account of the
former possibly being compelled to modify its announcement, "Daily net
sale six times as large as that of any penny London morning journal,"
and charges of ingratitude are flying about. From the North West Frontier of India comes the news that the
station master has been kidnapped from Shahkat station by raiders. It is
now proposed that, with a view to preventing the recurrence of such a
theft, every station master shall in future wear a collar with a bell
attached to it which would give the alarm. [Illustration: SIR VAVASOUR, HAVING DRAGGED THE NOW ALMOST UNCONSCIOUS
MAIDEN TO THE EDGE OF THE CLIFF, WAS ABOUT TO THROW HER OVER, WHEN ... [Illustration: THE ARTIST CHANGED HIS MIND AND TURNED THEM INTO A COUPLE
DANCING THE TANGO.] At a dinner to Mr. RAMSAY MACDONALD, the chairman referred to "the two
wings of the Labour movement." Two wings, unfortunately, do not make an
angel. Some pigeons, it is stated, have built their nests and are rearing their
young at the very point of the Tower Bridge bascules. The S.P.C.A.,
always alert, is presumably moving in the matter with a view to the
bridge being closed until the little family is out in the world. The expression, "The Theatre of War," gets more apt every day. During
the Balkan War the Servians and Montenegrins used a rattle to imitate
machine gun fire, and a machine has now been devised for imitating the
noise of an aeroplane engine, with the object of alarming hostile
troops. "We like the stories of men who joked on their death beds," says The
Times in a leader. Now that The Times has signified its approval we
shall never be surprised to see this become Society's latest hobby... Continue reading book >>
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