Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 146, March 25, 1914   By: Various

Edited By Owen Seaman.

VOL. 146

March 25, 1914.

CHARIVARIA.

The attention of the AMERICAN AMBASSADOR has been called to the danger of after dinner speaking. There is many a true word said in digestion and the truth is apt to hurt sensitive nations.

Art circles continue to seethe with indignation over the National Gallery outrage. Even the Post Impressionists have now no sympathy with the Suffragettes, for they realise that, while in this instance it was only a Velasquez which was injured, next time it might be a sublime Bomberg or a transcendent Wyndham Lewis.

Sir HIRAM MAXIM has addressed an open letter to Mrs. PANKHURST containing a number of questions, and asking for certain definite information before he joins her party. Nothing, we believe, would please that party better than to be able to add a Maxim to its armament.

A number of Liverpool women, many of whom are Suffragettes, have formed a Women's Church. A feature of this Church will no doubt be the institution of frequent Fasts with a view to training the worshippers to cope with the difficulties of every day life.

A fire brigade composed entirely of girl students successfully fought a fire last week at Wellesley College, a famous American educational institution. A strongly worded protest against their unwomanly conduct has, we understand, been sent from the headquarters of the W.S.P.U.

After much wordy warfare between our contemporary's readers, the proprietors of The Saturday Westminster Gazette have now decided definitely that it shall be printed on white paper, on the ground that this is better for the eyesight, and the White and See party has thus gained a notable victory over the Green and Bear It party.

Mr. ROY HORNIMAN has become chairman of the Committee for the Prevention of Cruelty to Stage Animals. There is good work to be done here. We have always understood that the hind legs of the Pantomime dragon suffer terribly while on the stage, owing to the closeness of the atmosphere.

Rumours reach us of trouble between The Daily Mail and its enterprising young protége , The Times. It is all on account of the former possibly being compelled to modify its announcement, "Daily net sale six times as large as that of any penny London morning journal," and charges of ingratitude are flying about.

From the North West Frontier of India comes the news that the station master has been kidnapped from Shahkat station by raiders. It is now proposed that, with a view to preventing the recurrence of such a theft, every station master shall in future wear a collar with a bell attached to it which would give the alarm.

[Illustration: SIR VAVASOUR, HAVING DRAGGED THE NOW ALMOST UNCONSCIOUS MAIDEN TO THE EDGE OF THE CLIFF, WAS ABOUT TO THROW HER OVER, WHEN ...

[Illustration: THE ARTIST CHANGED HIS MIND AND TURNED THEM INTO A COUPLE DANCING THE TANGO.]

At a dinner to Mr. RAMSAY MACDONALD, the chairman referred to "the two wings of the Labour movement." Two wings, unfortunately, do not make an angel.

Some pigeons, it is stated, have built their nests and are rearing their young at the very point of the Tower Bridge bascules. The S.P.C.A., always alert, is presumably moving in the matter with a view to the bridge being closed until the little family is out in the world.

The expression, "The Theatre of War," gets more apt every day. During the Balkan War the Servians and Montenegrins used a rattle to imitate machine gun fire, and a machine has now been devised for imitating the noise of an aeroplane engine, with the object of alarming hostile troops.