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Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 98, April 5, 1890   By:

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PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI

VOLUME 98

APRIL 5, 1890.

MR. PUNCH'S DICTIONARY OF PHRASES.

JOURNALISTIC.

" The Prisoner, who was fashionably attired, and of genteel appearance ;" i.e. , An ill got up swell mobsman.

" A powerful looking fellow ;" i.e. , An awful ruffian.

" A rumour has reached us " (in the well nigh impenetrable recesses wherein, as journalists, we habitually conceal ourselves).

" Nothing fresh has transpired ;" i.e. , The local Reporter's invention is at last exhausted.

" The Prisoner seemed fully alive to the very serious position in which he was placed ;" i.e. , He occasionally wiped his mouth on his knuckles.

" The proceedings were kept up until an advanced hour ;" i.e. , The Reporter left early.

SOCIAL.

" I'm so sorry I've forgotten to bring my Music ;" i.e. , I'm not going to throw away my singing on these people.

" Dear me, this is a surprise to meet you here! I didn't, you see, know you were in Town ;" i.e. , By which I wish her to understand that I hadn't seen that prominent account of her Mid Lent dance ( for which I had received no invitation ) that appeared in last Thursday's Morning Post .

" Never heard it recited better. Wonder you don't go on the Stage ;" i.e. , Then one needn't come and hear you; now one can't keep out of your way.

FOR SHOW SUNDAY.

" Shall you have many Pictures in this year? " i.e. , He'll jump for joy if he gets one in.

" Is your big Picture going to Burlington House or the Grosvenor? " i.e. , They wouldn't have it at an East End Free Art Show.

" By Jove, dear boy, Burne Jones will have to look to his laurels? " i.e. , Green mist and gawky girls, as usual!

" What I love about your pictures, dear Mr. Stodge, is their Subtle Ideal treatment, so different, &c., &c.? " i.e. , 'Tisn't like anything on earth.

" Best thing you've done for years, my boy; and, mark my words, it'll create a sensation! " i.e. , Everybody says it'll be a great go, and I may as well be in it.

" Entre nous, I don't think Millais' landscape is to be compared with it? " i.e. , I should hope not for MILLAIS' sake.

" Fancy hanging him on the line, and skying you! It's too bad? " i.e. , His picture is.

" Glad you haven't gone in for mere 'pretty, pretty,' this time, old man ;" i.e. , It's ugly enough for a scarecrow.

" My dear Sir, it's as mournfully impressive as a Millet ;" i.e. , Dull skies and dowdy peasants!

" Well, it's something in these days to see a picture one can get a laugh out of ;" i.e. , Or at!

AUCTIONEERING.

" Every Modern Convenience ;" i.e. , Electric bells and disconnected drain pipes.

" Cheap and Commodious Flat ;" i.e. , Seven small square rooms, with no outlook, at about the rent of a Hyde Park mansion.

" A Desirable Residence ;" i.e. , To get out of.

PLATFORMULARS.

" And thus bring to a triumphant issue the fight in which we are engaged ;" i.e. , Thank Heaven, I managed to get off my peroration all right.

" Our great Leader ;" i.e. , "That's sure to make them cheer, and will give me time to think."

[Illustration: SOCIAL ECONOMY.

Mrs. Scrooge. "I'M WRITING TO ASK THE BROWNS TO MEET THE JONESES HERE AT DINNER, AND TO THE JONESES TO MEET THE BROWNS. WE OWE THEM BOTH, YOU KNOW."

Mr. Scrooge. "BUT I'VE HEARD THEY'VE JUST QUARRELLED, AND DON'T SPEAK!"

Mrs. Scrooge. "I KNOW. THEY'LL REFUSE, AND WE NEEDN'T GIVE A DINNER PARTY AT ALL!"]

"MY CURATE."

[The Law Times mentions that a photograph of a well dressed and good looking gentleman has been sent to it, with the words "My Advocate" beneath. On the back are the name and address of a Solicitor.]

SCENE Drowsiham Vicarage. Vicar and Family discovered seated at breakfast table. Time Present.

The Vicar. I only advertised for a Curate in last Saturday's Church Papers , and already I have received more than sixty applications by the post, all of them, apparently, from persons of the highest respectability, whose views, too, happen to coincide entirely with my own! Dear me! I suppose these may be called the "Clerical Unemployed... Continue reading book >>


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