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Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 153, August 1, 1917. By: Various |
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OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. VOL. 153. August 1, 1917.
CHARIVARIA. The Imperial aspirations of KING FERDINAND are discussed by a
Frankfort paper in an article entitled "What Bulgaria wants."
Significantly enough the ground covered is almost identical with the
subject matter of an unpublished article of our own, entitled "What
Bulgaria won't get." The cow which walked down sixteen stairs into a cellar at Willesden
is said to have been the victim of a false air raid warning. "In Scotland," says Mr. BARNES'S report on Industrial Unrest, "the
subject of liquor restrictions was never mentioned." Some thoughts
are too poignant for utterance. According to the statement of a German paper "A Partial Crisis"
threatens Austria. One of these days we feel sure something really
serious will happen to that country. The Medical Officer of the L.C.C. estimates that in 1916 the total
water which flowed under London Bridge was 875,000,000,000 gallons.
It is not known yet what is to be done about it. The Army Council has forbidden the sale of raffia in the United
Kingdom. Personally we never eat the stuff. Nature Notes: A white sparrow has been seen in Huntingdon; a
well defined solar halo has been observed in Hertfordshire, and Mr.
WINSTON CHURCHILL was noticed the other day reading The Morning
Post . A boy of eighteen told the Stratford magistrate that he had given
up his job because he only got twenty five shillings a week. He will
however continue to give the War his moral support. The Austrian EMPEROR has told the representative of The Cologne
Gazette that he "detests war." If not true this is certainly a
clever invention on KARL'S part. We feel that the public need not have been so peevish because the
experimental siren air raid warning was not heard by everybody in
London. They seem to overlook the fact that full particulars of the
warning appeared next morning in the papers. A man who obtained two hundred weight of sugar from a firm of
ship brokers has been fined ten pounds at Glasgow. Some curiosity
exists as to the number of ships he had to purchase in order to secure
that amount of sugar. A London magistrate has held that tea and dinner concerts in
restaurants are subject to the entertainment tax. This decision will
come as a great shock to many people who have always regarded the
music as an anæsthetic. The no tablecloths order has caused great perturbation among the
better class hotel keepers in Berlin. Does the Government, they ask
sarcastically, expect their class of patron to wipe their mouths on
their shirt cuffs? The chairman of the House of Commons' Tribunal complains that while
cats drink milk as usual they no longer catch mice. This however may
easily be remedied if the FOOD CONTROLLER will meet them halfway on
the question of dilution. The public has been warned by Scotland Yard against a man calling
himself Sid Smith. We wouldn't do it ourselves, of course, but we are
strongly opposed to the police interfering in what is after all purely
a matter of personal taste. The bones of ST. GEORGE have been discovered near Beersheba in
Palestine by members of our Expeditionary Force. This should dispel
the popular delusion which has always ascribed the last resting place
of England's patron saint to the present site of the Mint. "War bread will keep for a week," stated Mr. CLYNES for the Ministry
of Food. Of course you can keep it longer if you are collecting
curios. It is announced that all salaries in the German Diplomatic Service
have been reduced. We always said that frightfulness didn't really
pay. German women have been asked to place their hair at the disposal of
the authorities. If they do not care to sacrifice their own hair
they can just send along the handful or two which they collect in
the course of waiting in the butter queue... Continue reading book >>
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Essay/Short nonfiction |
Non-fiction |
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