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Punch, Or The London Charivari, Volume 102, January 30, 1892 By: Various |
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OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. VOL. 102. January 30, 1892.
CONFESSIONS OF A DUFFER. III. THE LITERARY DUFFER. [Illustration: "I have worn a cloak and a Tyrolese hat, and
attitudinised in the Picture galleries."] Why I am not a success in literature it is difficult for me to tell;
indeed, I would give a good deal to anyone who would explain the
reason. The Publishers, and Editors, and Literary Men decline to tell
me why they do not want my contributions. I am sure I have done
all that I can to succeed. When my Novel, Geoffrey's Cousin , comes
back from the Row, I do not lose heart I pack it up, and send it off
again to the Square, and so, I may say, it goes the round. The very
manuscript attests the trouble I have taken. Parts of it are written
in my own hand, more in that of my housemaid, to whom I have dictated
passages; a good deal is in the hand of my wife. There are sentences
which I have written a dozen times, on the margins, with lines leading
up to them in red ink. The story is written on paper of all sorts and
sizes, and bits of paper are pasted on, here and there, containing
revised versions of incidents and dialogue. The whole packet is now
far from clean, and has a business like and travelled air about it,
which should command respect. I always accompany it with a polite
letter, expressing my willingness to cut it down, or expand it, or
change the conclusion. Nobody can say that I am proud. But it always
comes back from the Publishers and Editors, without any explanation
as to why it will not do. This is what I resent as particularly hard.
The Publishers decline to tell me what their Readers have really said
about it. I have forwarded Geoffrey's Cousin to at least five or six
notorious authors, with a letter, which runs thus: "DEAR SIR, You will be surprised at receiving a letter from
a total stranger, but your well known goodness of heart must
plead my excuse. I am aware that your time is much occupied,
but I am certain that you will spare enough of that valuable
commodity to glance through the accompanying MS. Novel, and
give me your frank opinion of it. Does it stand in need of
any alterations, and, if so, what? Would you mind having it
published under your own name , receiving one third of the
profits? A speedy answer will greatly oblige." Would you believe it, Mr. Punch , not one of these over rated and
overpaid men has ever given me any advice at all? Most of them
simply send back my parcel with no reply. One, however, wrote to say
that he received at least six such packets every week, and that his
engagements made it impossible for him to act as a guide, counsellor,
and friend to the amateurs of all England. He added that, if I
published the Novel at my own expense, the remarks of the public
critics would doubtless prove most valuable and salutary. This decided me; I did publish, at my own expense, with Messrs.
SAUL, SAMUEL, MOSS & CO. I had to pay down £150, then £35 for
advertisements, then £70 for Publisher's Commission. Other expenses
fell grievously on me, as I sent round printed postcards to everyone
whose name is in the Red Book, asking them to ask for Geoffrey's
Cousin at the Libraries. I also despatched six copies, with six
anonymous letters, to Mr. GLADSTONE, signing them, "A Literary
Constituent," "A Wavering Anabaptist," and so forth, but,
extraordinary to relate, I have received no answer, and no notice has
been taken of my disinterested presents. The reviews were of the most
meagre and scornful description. Messrs. SAUL, SAMUEL, Moss & Co. have
just written to me, begging me to remove the "remainder" of my book,
and charging £23 15s. 6d. for warehouse expenses. Yet, when I read
Geoffrey's Cousin , I fail to see that it falls, in any way, beneath
the general run of novels. I enclose a marked copy, and solicit your
earnest attention for the passage in which Geoffrey's Cousin blights
his hopes for ever. The story, Sir, is one of controversy, and is
suited to this time... Continue reading book >>
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